Welcome

Hello. Welcome. Hi. Yellow. Hola. How. Haai. Shalam. G'day. Mambo. Goedendag. Salut. Aloha. Sawubona. Okay, now that I am done being a smart ass...

This is my new blog. Where eventually, I hope to grow big, BIG, and have many followers, who find my kind, or at times not-so-kind, reviews useful.

Below you will find a list of every movie review I have ever written, in alphabetical order (Updated with each post):

10 Things I Hate About You
2012
27 Dresses
8 Mile
A Knight's Tale
Avatar
Avatar 3D
Awake
Babylon A.D. 
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans
Basic Instinct
Because I Said So
Bedtime Stories
Blindness
Blind Side, The
Blood Diamond
Bride Wars
Brothers
Capitalism: A Love Story
Charlie St. Cloud
Coach Carter
Condemned, The
Crazies, The
Cruel Intentions
Dark Knight, The
Day the Earth Stood Still, The
Dead Man Walking
Death Race
Descent, The
District 9
Drag Me To Hell
Eagle Eye
Eclipse (The Twilight Saga)
Edge of Darkness
Elizabeth
Fast & Furious
Flight of the Phoenix
Food, INC
Four Brothers
Friday the 13th
From Paris With Love
Gift, The
G.I. Jane
G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
Gone Baby Gone
Halloween 2
Hancock
Hangover, The
Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince
Haunting of Molly Hartley, The
House Bunny
I Can Do Bad All By Myself
Inception
Interview with a Vampire
In the Name of the King
Informant, The
Iron Man 2
It's Complicated
Jumper
Jungle 2 Jungle
Juno
Karate Kid, The
Kate & Leopold
Knowing
Lake View Terrace
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Last Legion, The
Law Abiding Citizen
Lovely Bones, The
Matilda
Mist, The
New Moon (The Twilight Saga)
Orphan
Other Boleyn Girl, The
Pandorum
Paranormal Activity
Parent Trap, The 
Perfect Stranger
Pride and Prejudice
P.S. I Love You
Quarantine
Rent
Runaways, The
Shawshank Redemption, The
Shutter Island
Social Network, The
Star Trek
Step-Father, The
Sweet November
Taken
Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3, The
Thirteen
Time Traveler's Wife, The
Town, The
Twilight (The Twilight Saga)
Ugly Truth, The
Uninvited, The
Virgin Territory
Wanted
What Women Want
X-Men Orgins: Wolverine
Zombieland

Feel free to make requests, comments, or suggestions.

Hope you enjoy everything and remember to visit often. This is a work in progress and can only get better with time. Tell your friends!

Christie

Disclaimer - Views and opinions expressed in this blog belong to the writer only. The writer is not responsible for any hurt feelings, decrease in sales, broken bones, or any other frivolous and ridiculous allegation.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

The movie is hilarious and completly shows this asshole cop having his life torn a part. It's one of those plots where it starts with one problem and which leads to another, and another, etc... Instead of handling these problems and issues the correct way he uses eccentric thinking and his gun to try and resolve it. Of course this leads to more problems!

Irrational thinking entertains me and Cage does a great job showing us just how bad things can really get. He is a coke snorting, asshole, in love with a prostitute, and uses his gun too much for his own good. He's fucking crazy - well played. Just when you think he has turned it all around he goes back to his old tricks again.

As a whole the movie was a little bit of everywhere and I was really pissed they kept throwing in these dangerous/wild animals. Snakes, Alligators, Fish? It was all a little pointless to me!

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, Sunday Morning Entertainment, Great Ending

The Social Network

Jesse Eisenberg, we saw him in Zombieland (the movie I disliked but still reccommended); I'm still liking him. We could probably say by now he has a natural dry humor and is fairly sarcastic himself. Either that or directors see him as that and keep casting him in those roles. And for some reason he keeps reminding me of Michael Cera in Juno.

The Winklevoss twin take me back to the school yard and fighting over the sand box, and was I following along correctly? A 65 million dollar settlement? Which included a confidentiality agreement? Guess that's all shot to hell! Thank you David Fincher and Columbia Pictures.

I was impressed. It is not a Documentary like I thought (goes to show how much I watch previews). It was not a chronological tale of "how Mark Zuckerberg made his millions." This is witty tale about a couple college students who start a business, and get over their heads, all while trying and succeeding in screwing one another over. Brilliance at it's best.

Raise your hand if you are addicited to Facebook? Now, keep your hand raised if you know anything about it's beginnings, or more specifically that Sean Parker dipped his greedy, nasty, self-absorbed fingers into the profits? Really? Well, the point was to say how much Justin Timberlake looks like shit in this movie. Someone, please, tell me it was make-up that made his jar hidiously square and gave the illusion of cellulite on his cheeks? Please. Well played. Well played.

The movie is laugh-out-loud funny (who the hell started this saying?). I was laughing after every other line. If you enjoy sarcasm, wittiness, or just want to hate on Justin's cellulite cheeks this is the movie for you to go see. I have no doubt in my mind that all the actors accurately depictied each inidividual character, and if they didn't that is a shame.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, Witty, Brilliant, Hilarious

Edge of Darkness

 This movie is alright. It is suspensful. I wanted, I NEEDED to know why this woman was shot, why his daughter? What did she do? I had to know. With that said, once I knew I was like Oh! Go figure. This movie is big Corporate, capitalist cover-up slash conpiracy story. Once you find out the why, you might be a little mad that you watched it.

I can compare this movie to Christmas time. So, all year you have begging, begging for a Gateway desk top computer, fully loaded with everything imaginable. You see a rather large box wrapped under the tree with your name on it. You know this is it! It is your Gateway computer. You open it... And guess what? It's a T.V.

Now, you are not ungrateful. A T.V. is nice too, but it is not the computer you have been asking for all year.

Experts Says: 3 Stars, Disappointment

Matilda

I loved this movie when I was a little girl! In fact, I am sure if I watched it today, I would still love it! It is a tale of a neglicted little girl, who is forced to go to this school where there is a HORRIBLE principle who still thinks we're living in the Dungens Era, because she has the closet that she puts kids in. The awfulness of this principle and how Matilda overcomes it is exciting. It will make every little girl wish she had those powers. She struggles between using this for good and bad; however, it is a good thing she has a teacher who is sweeter than Honey.

Experts Says: 4 Stars, cutest movie for little girls.

The Town

It is just another bank heist movie, but it's SOOO good! I love movies that have trickery in them, I don't mean Red Herrings. I mean, the characters thought this shit through and they have a plan, a plan to execute, and plan of escape! *crack the whip* This one had it all, mixed in a love story, and some she's-not-my-baby-momma-drama.

Blake Lively will amaze you with her skankiness and piss you off at the same time. Stupid hooker! I could have done without the last 5 scond screen shot of the movie. Directors are always fucking up the closing of a movie. *sigh*

Regardless, this is a must see, don't take the kids though, within the first 10 minutes we get a little bit of steamy action. And WHO the hell... Names their child Shine!? Crack heads...


Experts Says: 4.5 Stars, Exceptionally Entertaining

Food, INC

Why didn't anyone tell me in 2008 about this movie? I know I could have avoided gaining 20 pounds in the last year! Let me just say this movie is a huge eye opener to where our food comes from. Not only where it comes from, but how it is raised. I literally dry heaved through 25% of the movie. If you eat like shit, if you can't seem to loose that last 5 pounds, or if you are having trouble strating a new diet, this movie will definitly cure all those concerns and put you on the right track! I know it did for me! In fact, my household is now taking steps to go completly vegan!!!

Expert Says: 5 Stars, very scary, very informative