The Descent

Okay? So, The Man saw this movie a few days ago and said he wanted me to see it, BAD! He liked the movie, and said it was scary; he likes to see me scared. It was 11:30 at night, I was ready for bed and could probably use a a good scare. So... Let's watch it!

It starts off in a pretty messed up way, Sara's (MacDonald) husband and daughter are killed by poles... being jabbed into their head from a head on collision. If that isn't a Final Destination way to die, I just don't know what else is.

But it gets better! One year later 6 fierce, risk-taking women (including Sara) gather together for an new adventure. No, they aren't gathering together to talk about their sex, men, or relationships (like every other movie involving a gathering of women) They are cave climbing (or cave descending?)! I'm a claustrophobic and some of the shots were making me breath heavy and feel like I was in a small space. CRAZY! Props for that.

Now, I was told this was scary. Where is the scary part? If I know someone has seen the movie before me, I ask questions, because I need to know and I need to know NOW. "Is there a killer in this movie? Do they die? Does someone live?" The man replies with "Yes, there is a killer."

Hmm... The movie continues on and the women are faced with some dangers and coincidental injuries. We see weird stuff, like hints of another presence. Someone is following them? Oh great! They're stuck in a cave with a killer. WAIT A MINUTE! "Is the killer human! It is a man?" I NEEDED to know this question because it is after midnight and I have to work in the morning so if this is some stupid sci-fi movie it's not worth the lethargy at work the next morning.

I was told the killer was man, at about the same point where some ugly, almost faceless creature appears in front of the infared camera one women was hold. I screamed and covered my face. Yea, I covered my face. THAT ladies and gentleman was the only scary part throughout the whole movie. I mean seriously? Evolved cave divers? I'm not buying those slimy, blind things for a minute! Major points lost for being a stupid sci-fi movie!

Plus, for the last hour of the movie you find yourself routing for Sara to kick some evolution ass and make it out of the cave with her skimming, cheating, back-stabbing friend Juno (Natalie Jackson Mendoza). Oh! Sara gets her revenge alright. She stabs Juno in the leg! The LEG? Really? And she just dies from that and those demon things attacking her? The bitch just went head-to-toe with four! I think she can take one with a sore leg. Anyway, the ending sucked! And you just have to watch to find out what happened to Sara.

Expert Says: 2 Stars, for the gullible mind; sci fi? boo!