The Crazies

Stupid! Stupid movie! It started out all intriguing, it had my whole attention, a crazy guy bringing a gun to the middle of a baseball field during a game. It started getting stupid, the moment it turned from weird crazy people going mad for no reason, to weird crazy people going mad because of the government. It's always the fucking government and I can really go a very long, long time without having to watch another government conspiracy movie.

Expert Says: 1 Star, Stupid movie, not funny, or suspenseful

The Mist

This movie was HORRIBLE! Before watching it I was told to be prepared to be scared! I actually stayed up really late to finish this movie and had to get up really early in the morning to go to work. It was SOOO not worth it.

The only good thing about this movie is that it is pretty fast paced, because I hate movies that start slow. Right away we are dragged (not dragged, but "forced" by the mist) into this scene in a supermarket (which is basically the scene for the entire movie). Many start believe that they are going to die in the supermarket and give up hope, others are so scared they don't want to move. There are a few that stick out in my mind.

There was this one religious bitch that I wanted to punch in the face everyt ime I saw her face or heard her voice. She got on my damned nerves and I could have done without her in the entire film.

You know directors or writers are going for the "cheap" shot when they involve children and violence. Children and violence, they shouldn't go together and they just aren't fair.

In away, I am glad that there are others who believe they can survive! Everyone needs a little hope. But really? Big/mutated insects? That's just dumb!

The end sucks! I don't mean that it is a bad ending, it just sucks for one of the characters. It's horrible and left me thinking, "I sat through the whole movie for this?" LAME!

Expert Says: 1 Star, too lame for words.

Virgin Territory

I should have known this movie was going to be lame. In my own defense, this movie did have Mischa Barton AND Haydon Christensen. I guess it just goes to show you what two day teenage soap stars can actually pull together in a movie.

Technically, I blame the writer for even thinking that a horrific movie like this would sell. It was stupid and awful.

A bunch of "OH! I am such a virgin! Do you believe me? I am a virgin! I am! I am!" What they should be saying is "I'm so f'ing horny and if wasn't for this religion that I was TOLD to believe in then I could be getting laid right now."

So, the movie is about a girl (Mischa) whose father dies from the plague. Now she is desperate to marry the man she was promised to. But, some old guy wants to marry her and tries to trick her. So gross. She escapes that torture, but ends up falling for one of her friends instead. Who is actually in love with some Sister that he kissed while blindfolded. It turns out the old man gets what's coming to him. The man she was promised to fall for someone else along the way, no one is a virgin anymore, and they live happily, orgasm after

Expert Says: 1 Star, lame movie, don't waste your time.

Lakeview Terrace

In the mood for some Samuel L. Jackson? Don't turn to this movie.

Really? The whole movie is about a dirty cop (Jackson) who doesn't like the fact that his new beautiful black neighbor is dating a white boy who likes rap music. So, he tries to PUSH this new family out of the neighborhood. His attempts are poor. His antics are childish. And this story is poorly written. There are some entertaining parts, but you will only find yourself disappointed.

Expert Says: 1 Star, Not a movie to see.