Welcome

Hello. Welcome. Hi. Yellow. Hola. How. Haai. Shalam. G'day. Mambo. Goedendag. Salut. Aloha. Sawubona. Okay, now that I am done being a smart ass...

This is my new blog. Where eventually, I hope to grow big, BIG, and have many followers, who find my kind, or at times not-so-kind, reviews useful.

Below you will find a list of every movie review I have ever written, in alphabetical order (Updated with each post):

10 Things I Hate About You
2012
27 Dresses
8 Mile
A Knight's Tale
Avatar
Avatar 3D
Awake
Babylon A.D. 
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans
Basic Instinct
Because I Said So
Bedtime Stories
Blindness
Blind Side, The
Blood Diamond
Bride Wars
Brothers
Capitalism: A Love Story
Charlie St. Cloud
Coach Carter
Condemned, The
Crazies, The
Cruel Intentions
Dark Knight, The
Day the Earth Stood Still, The
Dead Man Walking
Death Race
Descent, The
District 9
Drag Me To Hell
Eagle Eye
Eclipse (The Twilight Saga)
Edge of Darkness
Elizabeth
Fast & Furious
Flight of the Phoenix
Food, INC
Four Brothers
Friday the 13th
From Paris With Love
Gift, The
G.I. Jane
G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
Gone Baby Gone
Halloween 2
Hancock
Hangover, The
Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince
Haunting of Molly Hartley, The
House Bunny
I Can Do Bad All By Myself
Inception
Interview with a Vampire
In the Name of the King
Informant, The
Iron Man 2
It's Complicated
Jumper
Jungle 2 Jungle
Juno
Karate Kid, The
Kate & Leopold
Knowing
Lake View Terrace
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Last Legion, The
Law Abiding Citizen
Lovely Bones, The
Matilda
Mist, The
New Moon (The Twilight Saga)
Orphan
Other Boleyn Girl, The
Pandorum
Paranormal Activity
Parent Trap, The 
Perfect Stranger
Pride and Prejudice
P.S. I Love You
Quarantine
Rent
Runaways, The
Shawshank Redemption, The
Shutter Island
Social Network, The
Star Trek
Step-Father, The
Sweet November
Taken
Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3, The
Thirteen
Time Traveler's Wife, The
Town, The
Twilight (The Twilight Saga)
Ugly Truth, The
Uninvited, The
Virgin Territory
Wanted
What Women Want
X-Men Orgins: Wolverine
Zombieland

Feel free to make requests, comments, or suggestions.

Hope you enjoy everything and remember to visit often. This is a work in progress and can only get better with time. Tell your friends!

Christie

Disclaimer - Views and opinions expressed in this blog belong to the writer only. The writer is not responsible for any hurt feelings, decrease in sales, broken bones, or any other frivolous and ridiculous allegation.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

The movie is hilarious and completly shows this asshole cop having his life torn a part. It's one of those plots where it starts with one problem and which leads to another, and another, etc... Instead of handling these problems and issues the correct way he uses eccentric thinking and his gun to try and resolve it. Of course this leads to more problems!

Irrational thinking entertains me and Cage does a great job showing us just how bad things can really get. He is a coke snorting, asshole, in love with a prostitute, and uses his gun too much for his own good. He's fucking crazy - well played. Just when you think he has turned it all around he goes back to his old tricks again.

As a whole the movie was a little bit of everywhere and I was really pissed they kept throwing in these dangerous/wild animals. Snakes, Alligators, Fish? It was all a little pointless to me!

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, Sunday Morning Entertainment, Great Ending

The Social Network

Jesse Eisenberg, we saw him in Zombieland (the movie I disliked but still reccommended); I'm still liking him. We could probably say by now he has a natural dry humor and is fairly sarcastic himself. Either that or directors see him as that and keep casting him in those roles. And for some reason he keeps reminding me of Michael Cera in Juno.

The Winklevoss twin take me back to the school yard and fighting over the sand box, and was I following along correctly? A 65 million dollar settlement? Which included a confidentiality agreement? Guess that's all shot to hell! Thank you David Fincher and Columbia Pictures.

I was impressed. It is not a Documentary like I thought (goes to show how much I watch previews). It was not a chronological tale of "how Mark Zuckerberg made his millions." This is witty tale about a couple college students who start a business, and get over their heads, all while trying and succeeding in screwing one another over. Brilliance at it's best.

Raise your hand if you are addicited to Facebook? Now, keep your hand raised if you know anything about it's beginnings, or more specifically that Sean Parker dipped his greedy, nasty, self-absorbed fingers into the profits? Really? Well, the point was to say how much Justin Timberlake looks like shit in this movie. Someone, please, tell me it was make-up that made his jar hidiously square and gave the illusion of cellulite on his cheeks? Please. Well played. Well played.

The movie is laugh-out-loud funny (who the hell started this saying?). I was laughing after every other line. If you enjoy sarcasm, wittiness, or just want to hate on Justin's cellulite cheeks this is the movie for you to go see. I have no doubt in my mind that all the actors accurately depictied each inidividual character, and if they didn't that is a shame.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, Witty, Brilliant, Hilarious

Edge of Darkness

 This movie is alright. It is suspensful. I wanted, I NEEDED to know why this woman was shot, why his daughter? What did she do? I had to know. With that said, once I knew I was like Oh! Go figure. This movie is big Corporate, capitalist cover-up slash conpiracy story. Once you find out the why, you might be a little mad that you watched it.

I can compare this movie to Christmas time. So, all year you have begging, begging for a Gateway desk top computer, fully loaded with everything imaginable. You see a rather large box wrapped under the tree with your name on it. You know this is it! It is your Gateway computer. You open it... And guess what? It's a T.V.

Now, you are not ungrateful. A T.V. is nice too, but it is not the computer you have been asking for all year.

Experts Says: 3 Stars, Disappointment

Matilda

I loved this movie when I was a little girl! In fact, I am sure if I watched it today, I would still love it! It is a tale of a neglicted little girl, who is forced to go to this school where there is a HORRIBLE principle who still thinks we're living in the Dungens Era, because she has the closet that she puts kids in. The awfulness of this principle and how Matilda overcomes it is exciting. It will make every little girl wish she had those powers. She struggles between using this for good and bad; however, it is a good thing she has a teacher who is sweeter than Honey.

Experts Says: 4 Stars, cutest movie for little girls.

The Town

It is just another bank heist movie, but it's SOOO good! I love movies that have trickery in them, I don't mean Red Herrings. I mean, the characters thought this shit through and they have a plan, a plan to execute, and plan of escape! *crack the whip* This one had it all, mixed in a love story, and some she's-not-my-baby-momma-drama.

Blake Lively will amaze you with her skankiness and piss you off at the same time. Stupid hooker! I could have done without the last 5 scond screen shot of the movie. Directors are always fucking up the closing of a movie. *sigh*

Regardless, this is a must see, don't take the kids though, within the first 10 minutes we get a little bit of steamy action. And WHO the hell... Names their child Shine!? Crack heads...


Experts Says: 4.5 Stars, Exceptionally Entertaining

Food, INC

Why didn't anyone tell me in 2008 about this movie? I know I could have avoided gaining 20 pounds in the last year! Let me just say this movie is a huge eye opener to where our food comes from. Not only where it comes from, but how it is raised. I literally dry heaved through 25% of the movie. If you eat like shit, if you can't seem to loose that last 5 pounds, or if you are having trouble strating a new diet, this movie will definitly cure all those concerns and put you on the right track! I know it did for me! In fact, my household is now taking steps to go completly vegan!!!

Expert Says: 5 Stars, very scary, very informative

From Paris With Love

Now, I might be biased rating this movie, because I am a HUGE John Travolta fan, but I liked it! And oh my is he continuing to put on weight!

If it wasn't for John Travolta being in this movie, I would rate it 2.5. The story just isn't that great or intriguing. Although, the "mission" isn't what you think it is. Basically, John Travolta makes this movie! He is hilarious and ruthless and I love it! There is a perfect balance between Travolta and Meyers which may or may not be entirely needed, but it works!

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, definitly funny, and interesting

The Runaways

Loved, loved, loved this movie! It's hilarious when it shouldn't be! It's raunchy when it should be! And it made me want to get drunk and pop some pills! Dakota Fanning, bless her! I have not seen a movie of hers that I have not liked. She was amazing! Crazy amazing, I was watching it thinking I can't believe this is Dakota Fanning! The role seems so out of her element, yet she NAILS it! Kristen Stewart played a role that fit her SOOO perfectly! They couldn't have hired a better cast! Michael Shannon made this movie! With his sexual puns, that were not so discreet and his 70's sex, sex, sex attitude. He had me cracking up the whole time! OH how I wish I was apart of the 70's. Then again, maybe it is a good thing that I wasn't. Oh and did I mention I love The Runaway's music and Joan Jett's of course!

Expert Says: 4.5 Stars, all adults will enjoy

Shutter Island

I waited over a YEAR to see this movie! I think it was March or April of 2009 that I first saw the previews for this movie, and I bounced in my seat saying, "oh oh oh! I HAVE to see that." Then, I found out it didn't even come out in theatres for A YEAR! A YEAR! How DUMB! Just dumb! The suspense was killing me! I was dying of curiousity. The movie came out, it got mixed reviews, my interst was still peaked, but I didn't get to make it. Thanks to Netflix I finally got to watch it. I wasn't impressed. I think I was expecting a different plot.

The previews were very deciving to what was actually going to happen, which is how it should be. BUT I WANTED it to be about the previews! I wanted it to play out perfectly in my head the way I thought it would and it didn't.

There are some good things to this movie. First, I liked the acting, and the plot wasn't HORRBILE, it just wasn't what I wanted. I wanted more terror. Think horror movie in an insane asylum! Instead, what I got was a not so greatly written psychological thriller. Throught the movie I was on my toes wondering what would be happening next, because they honestly gave NO clues! Then the ending! Oh my the ending! What is the truth? Is he crazy? Or are they only trying to make him THINK he is crazy? It is up to you to decide.

Experts Says: 3.5 Stars, disappointing yet thrilling

Interview with a Vampire

I LIKED it! Very creepy! Not like weird creepy, but spine tingling creepy. It was cool how they took us through the rebirth of this undead creature and then told us the story of his life. That's what this basically is, it is the tales of one vampire's life as an undead. It's amazing. The thirst, the struggle to not take life, the changing of a little girl and her struggle to not grow up. The little girl in this movie is played by Kirsten Dunst. She is AMAZING in this movie! WOW! She does such a great job and if it were my decision to make, I would say this is the best performance of her career! Pay attention until the very end, because there is one last plot twist that will make you go, "what the..."

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, a little slow, but worth sitting through

The Lovely Bones

There is SOOOO much symbolizism in this movie it is ridculous. I remember there being quite a bit of symbolism in the book, but the movie portrays it to be so young. The whole movie is scripted as though it were written for a 12 year old to enjoy. I remember the book being much more adult, granted I was 14 when I read it. The movie was really lame, I don't remember it portraying the book entirely. Mark Wahlberg even did a shitty job of acting in this movie.

Expert Says: 0 Stars, Disappointing 



The Crazies

Stupid! Stupid movie! It started out all intriguing, it had my whole attention, a crazy guy bringing a gun to the middle of a baseball field during a game. It started getting stupid, the moment it turned from weird crazy people going mad for no reason, to weird crazy people going mad because of the government. It's always the fucking government and I can really go a very long, long time without having to watch another government conspiracy movie.

Expert Says: 1 Star, Stupid movie, not funny, or suspenseful

Zombieland

I'm not even going to lie to you... The plot of this movie is absolutely STUPID! Just stupid! The acting is very poor, the plot, what plot? It isn't even laugh out loud funny. Just dumb. I knew this before I watched it. I knew it was what I like to call a "stoner movie." You know the ones that would only be funny if you were high, which isn't funny at all. Yet I watched it anyway, and it was still stupid. There was some humor. I liked how they through the rules in there, and the sisters cracked me up. But the story was still horrible along with the acting.

Expert Says: 2 Stars, Stupid, Stoner Movie

The Bucket List

I've tried countless times since this movie came out to watch it. I've seen piece and parts of it, but finally I watched it last night! Very entertaining, and funny. There are definitly some sad parts and tear jerking moments. The ideas portrayed are memorable and there are many "life lessons" brought out during this film. The most important being, life is short and live life to the fullest.

Expert Says: 4 Stars, Classic, Entertaining, Memorable

The Step-Father

I wasn't impressed with this movie. The ending was so stupid! SO STUPID! I am completely over the typical ending, "He died! Or did he?" Can't we just fucking kill someone and leave his ass dead, already? There was some suspense, it was a little rivoting, but I am glad I didn't stand in line at the box office to buy tickets for it. Get it on Netflicks it's not worth your money!

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, Good remake, lacks a little in interest, some suspense

Charlie St. Cloud

So CUTE! It is really predictable, except for the girl! That was a surprise! It was emotionally rivoting, I think my total tear count was at 200 during this movie. This is what I like to call a Sunday morning movie. You don't need to pay a lot of attention to it, it has a mellow tone, and doesn't get you too excited.

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, tear jerker, guys will think it's lame

Inception

Psychological thriller for sure! This movie will keep you guessing until the very end. It's one of those things where you KNOW something is wrong, they TELL you something is wrong, but you have no idea what it is. I like this movie so much. The idea of changing ones thoughts! INSANE! CRAZY! And the end is open to many interpretations!!!

Expert Says: 5 Stars, See it twice!

Thirteen

This story truly takes you into the mind of a 13 year old girl. Or girls. Peer pressure is reoccuring theme during this movie. Drugs, deceit, stealing, betrayal, alcohol, sex, it's everything you don't want your little girl getting involved in. You're constantly having to remind yourself that these girl are only thirteen! That's jail bait for all of you wondering!

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, good story, good plot, I liked it

Eagle Eye

I thought this movie was kind of dumb. They build you up with all of this suspense, and then the reason for it all, the reason everything is happening turns out to be so dumb!

So, in the movie, LaBeouf is getting a phone call from someone telling him what to do,like speed up to 55 mph in backed up traffic. He is trusting that what the person on the other end of the phone call is telling him is true. And it is! He doesn't really get hurt. However, it's not what you think, or what you want it to be. It's a stupid, well... i guess you will have to see for yourself... but it is stupid...

Expert Says: 3 Stars, Suspensful, Kind of dumb

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

YAY! Love them movie. They portrayed every emotion I had in the book into the movie. I still got pissed at the end when Bella didn't want Jacob to leave in the woods (eh? you remember right?). Oh and I still laughed when Bella and Edward were lying down that one night and Bella tried to... well, you know! I am sure you laughed too.

I am totally a Team Edward fan; however, I think in this movie he gave off a creepy vibe instead of an I'm in love you vibe. I wish they would have extended the camping in the woods scenes, because that played a lot into Jacob and Edward's relationship.

Another plus. All you Twihards probably know about The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella, right? Well, I liked how in the movie they incorporated some of that story into the movie, because there were totally some things in the movie that were not in the book. It only made the story that much better and I truly hope that Stephanie Meyers will continuing giving us little short stories about other characters in the book.

I don't know if I can wait until November of 2011 for the first part of Breaking Dawn to come out! My heart is already going pitter patter as that is my favorite book and I have high, high hopes for it. Afterall, they had 3 movies before it to perfect the moods!

Expert Says: 4.5 stars, nailed the mood, they're getting better at this.

Iron Man 2

Lame! Not totally lame, just repeatitive. The plot wasn't much different than the first movie. The effects were the same as well as the love interests.

Iron Man will never stop with his woo is me "I'm just trying to save the World" attitude. It got old at the end of the first movie. Iron Man was cool in the first movie, which helps in bringing this movie up a few notches, because if the first one ws cool, and the second one is like the first, then isn't the second one cool too? In a sense. Not totally.

Iron Man 2 is still fun and entertaining, just unoriginal and lacks creativity. *sigh* Disappointment.

Expert Says: 3 Stars, lacks oringinality, just like the first

The Karate Kid

I loved this movie! I loved the original! I always vote for the underdog and The Karate Kid is about the underdog  *whipsh* coming out on top.

Now, what I liked the most about this remake, is that they didn't take the original line for line, add new actors, and call it a movie. NO! They created something totally different while taking the same concept and basic guidelines of the movie and gave us something new to look at. Kudos to them!

Next on the list, Jaden Smith. HOLY CRAP! I mean AWESOME! I don't want to say that he is just like his father in the sense of his acting. However, the stellarness his father has in his acting was certainly passed on through the generation to his son. Don't get confused, Jaden is NOT following in his father's shadow! Kudos to Jaden!

Now....

Go pick up the jacket!

Expert Says: 4 Stars, original, clever

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

Old age movies? I love them. This movie? Not so much. There are very few movies that I have ever been able to not finish. This was one of them. I was about 15-20 minutes into it and I switched the movie. I just couldn't follow. The plot wasn't coming, it was a little slow, and the acting was not good! I even like most of the actors/actresses that are in this movie. Maybe it was just poor directing.

Experts Says: 0 Stars, poor acting, poor effects

Cruel Intentions

Sex, drugs, scandal, betrayal, seduction, death... I love seeing the lives of rich people unfold. I find it even more exciting when the lives of rich people fall apart. This movie, while is focuses of a group of teenagers, is no movie for a teenager.

We have Kathryn and Sebastian two sex addicted step-siblings who livelihood is being threatened by the other when Kathryn bets Sebastian that he de-virginize Annette, a girl who wants to wait until marriage. Sebastian succeeds in his goal, but Annette has become something more than just a bet. Now, he has to choose between is epic reputation or the love of his life. Annette has to choose if she can accept Sebastian for who he really is, and Kathryn, must learn to cover up her tracks.

Experts Says: 4 Stars, fun and deceiving

Because I Said So

This is really one of my favorite movies. Before I watched it I assumed it would be about this controlling Mother. In the first few minutes I realized it was not exactly about a controlling Mother, but instead the success a mother wants for her daughter.

While I am not a mother, I am sure other Mothers would agree that sometimes, Moms, overreact and sometimes what the mom feels is in the best interest of the daughter, is not always the case.

The movie is about a single woman who meets a rich architect at an event she is catering for. They end up dating. The single woman then meets a more laid back musician. Eventually, she discovers her mothers ploy, and is forced to choose (or get rid of) one of the men in her life.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, Chick flick, Cute film 

Right America: Feeling Wronged - Some Voices from the Campaign Trail

I never thought I would see myself as a fan of documentaries. However, it seems that the more of them I watch, the more I like them.

I would more or less consider this a realistic satire of what Right America went through. While Right America does consist of more than the rednecks from small towns who are paranoid about the government taking away their guns the majority of Right America IS that small town redneck who is afraid of the government coming and taking away their guns.


This movie by no means pretends to be unbiased, it is clearly Left biased and very entertaining for everyone (admit it all you Righty’s you HAD to have laughed too, no? You must still believe that Obama is going to turn this country Muslim).


A lot of how Right America feels cracks me up. It strikes me with more concern for WHAT some people are willing to believe. I have a friend (Righty) who is fairly intelligent and follows politics MORE now that Obama is in office. This friend of mine is completely against Obama and would even send me e-mails that he believed to be true stating Obama was going to make the military pay for their own health care, or that Obama doesn't have a birth certificate, or going to turn the country Muslim. It is completely IMPOSSIBLE to try and tell him otherwise. EVEN though our forefathers were religious, they wanted freedom OF religion, therefore, America has NO established religion. American is NOT a Jewish country, or a Christian county (like many believe because the majority of the citizens are Christian); therefore, it is IMPOSSIBLE to make a country who has no established religion a Muslim country. *End Tangent*


SO.... If an educated man who follows the "issues" can't even use his brain and is so wrapped up in his racial issues, HOW do we expect the rest of Right America to believe?


I love my Mom and bless her heart, but I think she is even one of those who believe Obama wasn't born in the U.S. There comes a point where logic doesn't get through to people anymore and THAT is what I believe the point of this movie was about. While the depiction of Right America was humorous, the VALUES of those that depicted Right America is HOW Right America feels, from country farmer to CEO.

I think she did a good job, and I enjoyed the documentary as entertainment and it will continue to remain on my DVR. :D
Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, humorous, entertaining

The Dark Knight

You've seen this movie, right? If you haven’t... I think you're the only one. I'm not sure how to exactly describe what this movie is about, but I will try. Batman (Bale) is faced with the dilemma of giving in to Joker (Ledger) by revealing his identity or letting his city crumble.

Now... Let's move on to what I thought of this movie...

A.MAY.ZING. Amazing. Holy crap!

Heath Ledger by far stole this movie! He did such an awesome drop portraying Joker. SUCH an awesome job, not that I have much to compare it to. But, wow! Is all I have to say about that role. WOW! It's such a shame that he is no longer with us.

Lover and I will always turn the TV to this movie if it is on. We own it in Blu Ray and watch it when we are bored. I don't want to shoot anyone else's acting down because everyone did an amazing job in their roles.

This movie is a classic. It is definitely going to go down with The Wizard of OZ.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, Classic movie, amazing, a definite must see.

8 Mile

A quick summary of the plot. Rabbit (Eminem), a white boy, wants to be a respected rapper, but he can't seem to get any respect from anyone. The truth his, the audience and his opponent can only count on him to choke before he can even spit anything out. Can he over come is cheating girlfriend, his pregnant girlfriend, his alcoholic mom, his new location in 8 mile, and rifts between friends? Watch and find out.

I thought this movie was cool when I first watched it. Then, I watched it again. First, Eminem's acting skills are horrible, which plays a big role in why this movie sucked. Plus, I think he wore out the whole "white rapper" trying to catch a break with his first album.

I like the "battles;" those were cool. Brittany Murphy did a great job in this movie! The last 10-15 mintues are really worth watching, I'm just sure that it is worth having to watch the rest of the movie.

Experts Says: 2.5 stars, mostly bad acting, lame movie, the last battle is good.

The Condemned

I LOVED this movie! The most hardened criminals in the world get the chance at a new life! What a dream. Too bad for the rest of society, but I guess we are assuming that the producer would have let him go in the first place...


So, one you have done it all, what is there left to do? To reinvent yourself obviously. That was exactly what Breckle planned on doing when he purchased 10 convicted killers from around the world and forced them to play his game, while it was broadcast to the entire world via the internet. The game is of course death. Only one convict can "earn" his/her freedom back and that is only done by eliminating the others.

However, one of the condemned, Jack Conrad (Austin), isn't who Breckle thought he was and now with the FBI on his tail he is left with little choice. Can the US save Jack before the teamed up McStarley (Jones) and Saiga (Yamaguchi) kill him? Or will he fight to the death and escape on his own? You have to watch to find out.

This movie doesn't count entirely as prison movie, but they are all prisoners. We have scandal, the good guy, the bad guy, irony, and love in this movie. Some of the graphics are cheesy, but the plot is so amazing you're more caught up in Conrad's survival. This movie looses points because of the sexual bull shit that happens with the women prisoners.

Expert Says: 4 Stars, Nice line, graphics are a little cheesy.

Blindness

There is an epidemic of "white" blindness and it seems everyone is being infected except for one, the Doctor's wife (Moore). All blind persons are thrown into a quarantine building with 3 wards in order to minimize infection. The Doctor (Ruffalo) becomes the spokes person for the ward 1. Ward 3 seeks selfish intentions and takes over the entire facility threatening to not feed the other wards unless they offer something of value or their women.


Moore guides Ward 1 throughout the entire process and helps them cope and deal with their blindness. She tries to keep everything civilized and still maintain her marriage. In the end is their bond strong enough to last? Does the Ward 3 eventually dominate or do they self destruct?

I get that the blindness can wear-off. I am okay excepting that. What pisses me off the most, is that they DO NOT explain HOW they are going blind. In the movie they make it seem like you are infected from someone who is infected. So if the first blind man (Iseya) comes into contact with me, I then become blind along with anyone who has had contact with me, or Iseya. BUT HOW? They could have at least explained HOW Iseya came to be the FIRST blind person. A chemical exposure that is then passed through breath to others? I don't know, but I wish they would have explained it...

Props to the writers. This movie definitely plays off the fears of the World or at least my personal fears. I couldn't imagine loosing my sight. It would be an awful feeling of loneliness. I don't even know how I would begin to handle being surrounded by blind people, no one to help me or guide me. Good acting, I believed they were blind and great job at portraying what is greatly possible of happening. This movie reminds me a TAD bit of quarantine, but 100 times better.

Expert Says: 3 Stars, plays on fear, interesting.

Death Race

It's a prison movie, so you can't really go wrong, but it it's more like Shawshank Redemption meets The Condemned. Prisoners are filmed racing and it is then broadcast to the rest of the world via internet. Except instead of a TV producer behind this stunt, it is the prison's warden. After a prisoners wins 5 races, literally to the death, he is then released.

Frankenstein has one more race left to win before he is a free man. Only Frankenstein dies. Warden Hennessey needs to keep ratings up and Frankenstein does that. So she brings in Jensem Ames to "play" Frank and potentially earn his freedom in the end. Soon, Ames discovers that Hennessey has no intention on setting anyone free. Driven by the life of his daughter, Ames must find a way to out wit Hennessey and free himself before death approaches.

The movie gets cheesy in the special effects and graphics department. I'm referring to some of the stuff the vehicles endure. THOUSANDS of bullets and none of them breach the surface of the vehicle. For the most part.

There is a perfect ending... Well, a perfect ending to me, one that meets MY criteria. I liked the movie and thought it was really enjoyable... It only looses some points on graphic cheesiness!

Expert Says: 4 Stars, cheesy plot, still enjoyable

The Mist

This movie was HORRIBLE! Before watching it I was told to be prepared to be scared! I actually stayed up really late to finish this movie and had to get up really early in the morning to go to work. It was SOOO not worth it.

The only good thing about this movie is that it is pretty fast paced, because I hate movies that start slow. Right away we are dragged (not dragged, but "forced" by the mist) into this scene in a supermarket (which is basically the scene for the entire movie). Many start believe that they are going to die in the supermarket and give up hope, others are so scared they don't want to move. There are a few that stick out in my mind.

There was this one religious bitch that I wanted to punch in the face everyt ime I saw her face or heard her voice. She got on my damned nerves and I could have done without her in the entire film.

You know directors or writers are going for the "cheap" shot when they involve children and violence. Children and violence, they shouldn't go together and they just aren't fair.

In away, I am glad that there are others who believe they can survive! Everyone needs a little hope. But really? Big/mutated insects? That's just dumb!

The end sucks! I don't mean that it is a bad ending, it just sucks for one of the characters. It's horrible and left me thinking, "I sat through the whole movie for this?" LAME!

Expert Says: 1 Star, too lame for words.

Wanted

When I first saw this movie I thought it was pretty cool. Secret agents, spies, curving bullets, magic wax. etc.

Then, I really sat down and thought about the movie and I have to say it wasn't as good as I thought.

First, thinking back the movie reminds me a little bit like a bad modernized Charlie's Angels minus 2 chicks, plus one guy. There is this mystery about who's killed and who lives. Oh and there is this one part where Jolie tries to get all sentimental on us... it doesn't really work, I can't picture her as the "I feel sorry for you" type. She is more of the, you screwed me, so I am going to screw you type.

They really couldn't have picked a better cast for the film. The filming was great and the acting was good. The plot just sucked. Someone brought up a point to me, it's not real, none of it can ever happen and you can't curve a bullet.

I guess that's true, science proves we can't curve a bullet. Has science ruled out witchcraft, fairies, or unicorns yet? Because that would really crash my dreams.

The worst part of the movie that made me say, "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?" A Loom? Really? A Loom? Such BULL SHIT!

Expert Says: 3 Stars, the plot was lame after thinking about it, but it was still fun to watch.

Sweet November

This movie is different. For those of you who don't know. We get the illusion that Sara (Theron) takes in one man each month, then after the month ends she kicks them out. Her logic for this is that she wants to help the man grow and gain something he is missing (i.e. confidence) or loose something he doesn't need (i.e. workaholic). So, one man a month is living with her, and she is a sleeping with them. She is a total whore right? Wrong.



As the movie continues on, I started to think that she was BRILLIANT. I mean, how many times do us women get our heart broken or get in too seriously too quickly and everything falls a part? Well, her method avoids all of that. I believe Sara said, in regard to why the man only stays for a month, "because it is long enough to be meaningful but short enough to stay out of trouble." Sara is having these great relationships and then getting our before it gets to serious.


What happens next? Nelson does or should I call him November.


Nelson, a workaholic who just lost his job and his girlfriend found is way to Sara's apartment and became her November. November changed Sara when he found out that he happy-go-lucky attitude was a cover up to something much greater. But, November is in love and nothing is going to stand in the way on Sara.


We WANT Sara to be happy and be with Nelson. Will November be able to crack old habits and force her to settle down with one man? Or will Sara prove to be more stubborn than any of thought and turn down true love?



Experts Says: 4.5 Stars, Cute Love Story.

The Last Legion

I liked this movie. I thought it was pretty cool. I like plots set "in the past." I also find the Roman empire entirely fascinating as well as mythology. There is a little of both in this movie.

It helps that the main person who kicks some ass in this movie is female.

The night a young boy, who happens to be the last blood line to Julius Caesar, becomes emperor his empire falls. The main captain of one of the nine legions vows to protect him to the death. In an attempt to rescue the emperor and find the ninth legion to win back Rome the group of soldiers runs into many problems.

Only in one last battle can they gain back their land and allow Caesar to rule once again.

So, I may not have summed up this movie very well. But, it is kid friendly, interesting, and fun. I may or may not watch it again, but if there was a sequel I would definitely watch it.

Expert Says: 3.5 stars, kid friendly.

Virgin Territory

I should have known this movie was going to be lame. In my own defense, this movie did have Mischa Barton AND Haydon Christensen. I guess it just goes to show you what two day teenage soap stars can actually pull together in a movie.

Technically, I blame the writer for even thinking that a horrific movie like this would sell. It was stupid and awful.

A bunch of "OH! I am such a virgin! Do you believe me? I am a virgin! I am! I am!" What they should be saying is "I'm so f'ing horny and if wasn't for this religion that I was TOLD to believe in then I could be getting laid right now."

So, the movie is about a girl (Mischa) whose father dies from the plague. Now she is desperate to marry the man she was promised to. But, some old guy wants to marry her and tries to trick her. So gross. She escapes that torture, but ends up falling for one of her friends instead. Who is actually in love with some Sister that he kissed while blindfolded. It turns out the old man gets what's coming to him. The man she was promised to fall for someone else along the way, no one is a virgin anymore, and they live happily, orgasm after

Expert Says: 1 Star, lame movie, don't waste your time.

Babylon A.D.

Through out this ENTIRE movie I was thinking, what the hell is with this girl? I caught on pretty early what she was capable of and your brain capacity. However, I wasn't exactly sure HOW or WHY.

Isn't Vin Diesel yummy? He is yummy. I don't think I have ever seen him perform poorly. In a movie silly! Perform poorly in a movie!

So, this movie takes place in the WAY future. Actually, it might have only been about 50 years from now. I can't remember, but there was highly advanced technology. Including passports implanted in one's neck. Apparently... Diesel WANTS to be in the US, but he was banded a long time ago, if he goes back he will be arrested, and it's impossible to fake the passport.

Some terrorist/rich/Russian Mob man comes to Diesel and gives him an offer he can't refuse. Deliver the girl to the US and live like a free man. Unfortunately, he wasn't entirely aware of what he had got himself into. Thierry (the girl) has lived sheltered from the entire world her whole life. BUT she somehow knows A LOT! A LOT of shit. She would be like the ultimate player in any kind of game. She can process information quickly and retain a lot of information, like a computer. Diesel thinks she might be carrying a virus and vows to kill her if she is.

Come to find out, she is harmless.

There are some twists and turns in this movie. It's a little lame, but it gets points for being original. Plus, there is only a semi-happy ending. I do wish it were a full happy ending, but then it wouldn't be what it is.

OH! And this movie looses major points for pulling the whole religious, virgin Mary card. So lame!

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, Decent movie, check it out for yourself.

Star Trek

I use to make fun of people who liked these kind of movies. They are a little dorky, a little nerdy, and pretty lame. At least, that is what I thought until Lover made me watch Star Trek with him. He got this movie on Blu-Ray for his birthday and wanted to watch it as soon as possible.

I shocked my own taste, when I discovered that I actually LIKED this movie. It's still a little dorky and nerdy, but it is also a little cool. The acting could use some work, the lines were too "planed out." During some conversations it felt as though the actors/actresses were simply reading them and they characters could use more character. I also felt like I was "learning a lesson" the whole time which is lame too. So, because of that this movie lost some points.

BUT...

The plot was cool, the aliens were realistic and not green eyed monsters. Actions don't surprise me, and I like the idea of things happening that are "out of this world." I'm talking about time traveling and the whole idea of black holes.

I hope they improved on their acting skills in the next movies (there are more right?). Plus, Zoe Saldana had to of gained some experience in Avatar. See here and here.

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars, neat movie.

2010 Wish List

I am doing something a little different for this blog. I am going to make a list of all the movies I want to see in 2010. Something that I have noticed from the past. The beginning of the year is horrible, awfully horrible for movies. No one wants to release a good movie at the beginning of the year, because come award show time, no one will remember. It's totally lame and leaves everyone bored and unable to go to the movies and watch a decent film.

The List:

The Lovely Bones
The Book of Eli
House of Numbers
Dread
When in Rome
Dear John
Valentine's Day
Shutter Island
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightening Thief
Remember Me
City Island
Season of the Witch
The Bounty Hunter
The Runaways
Chloe
Clash of the Titans
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too
Date Night
The Losers
Babies
Oceans
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Iron Man 2
Letter to Juliet
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
The A-Team
The Karate Kid
Footloose
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
The Last Airbender
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Salt
Eat, Pray, Love
The Roommate
Flipped
Guardians of Ga'Hoole
You Again
Let Me In
Your Highness
Paranormal Activity Sequel
Prisoners
Faster
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Tron: Legacy
The Green Hornet

These are the movies I am looking forward to. What movie are you looking forward to in 2010?

What Women Want

Surprisingly enough, this is one of Lover's favorite movies. Or so it would appear - he doesn't normally buy DVDs of movies he doesn't like and when we merged our collections we ended up with two.

Here's the thing... I am a fan of the love story, but I hate how EVERYTHING has to turn into a love story. I don't for one second believe that if a man had the ability to read the minds of women, that he would come clean about it OR confess that he was using it to his advantage. Really? If I could read one person's mind I would use it to my advantage. I wouldn't take advantage of the person, but mind reading would certainly take away the bull shitting and getting to know one another stage.

This movie starts off hilarious! It incorporates all the needed aspects, family, sex, and career. We probably could have gone without the whole Prom ordeal. I mean the actually prom event, not the events that lead up to it. Who cares if she slept with her boyfriend of not? I certainly don't! I just liked hearing that she was lying to you about it!

Again, the love story was over done. I didn't see the chemistry AT ALL and it ruined the film for me. This movie has the right idea, but flew with it in the wrong direction.

Experts Says - 3 Stars, not one of my favorites.

Awake

Have you seen this movie? It's pretty frightening. This is the second time I have watched it. The first time left me in quakes and despair as I was recently scheduled to have my wisdom teeth removed and would be going under anesthesia. Not a great experience. Luckily, I was not "awake" during the procedure and woke up wanting more. I was also blessed with laughing gas, which I also enjoyed greatly and would love some street junkie to sell me a serving so that I might revive myself once again.

Back to the movie...

The movie opens up with some startling facts:

"Each year, over 21,000,000 people receive general anesthesia. The vast majority go to sleep peacefully. They remember nothing. 30,000 of these patients are not so fortunate. They find themselves unable to sleep. Trapped in a phenomenon known as anesthesia awareness. These victims are completely paralyzed. They cannot scream for help. They are awake.”

FREAKY! So, basically we know that some muther effer is going to be going through a lot of pain.

Total scandal in this movie! I know I have mentioned before that I love a movie with any sort of scandal involved. Government scandals are my favorite, but I will take Gold Diggin whore as a very close second. They really would have got to split $100 million? *sigh* Somebody slap me in the face so that I can come back to reality.

I felt as though the movie was well put together. I didn't see the twist in the story at all and was shocked. I like how the doctors then ran, I mean seriously? They ran? Who would really think they could get away with it?

I also enjoyed the out of body experience that Clay had during the operation and the meeting with his Mom while "in between." I could watch this movie a couple of times and still freak out over the whole open heart surgery and being awake during it. "Opps, there goes a rib." Come on guys!!!


Expert Says: 4 Stars, a must see for those who like a scandal.

Avatar 3D

Obviously the story hasn't changed. So, if you want my review of the movie go here.

Now, on to the IMAX 3D experience.

First, I have never seen ANY movie in 3D, NOR have I seen a movie at the IMAX theatre.

Now, I have to admit that I like Hartkin's Cine Capri screen at Tempe Marketplace MUCH better than the IMAX screen. Second, I think my eyes and mind can sense when someone or something is trying to deceive them, because I saw very little in 3D. In fact, the only time I really noticed it was in 3D was when they were in the woods. It looked like the plants were RIGHT THERE! I mean, I felt as though I could reach out and touch them and it was REALLY cool!

However, that wasn't much of a 3D experience. If I was going to see any movie in 3D, I am glad it was this one, because I LOVE THIS MOVIE! It is AWESOME! In fact, I cannot wait until it comes out on DVD! I am DEFINITELY getting it in BluRay. And, if I don't have surround sound at the time, I will buy it to watch this movie!

Expert Says: 3D doesn't work on me. That still can't make this movie bad, NOTHING can!

It's Complicated

This movie? Hilarious.

I have to admit I never thought that I was a Meryl Streep fan, but I have come to realize that she really can do no wrong.

There is so much wit and sarcasm in this film. To be honest I probably could have done without the love story. It's not really a love story to begin with, but I think the audience would have been just as happy with the illusion that Streep and Baldwin spent the rest of their lives getting in on behind the other ones back.

Oh! Introducing pot into the mix, classic!

Expert Says: 4 Stars, Witty, Humorous, Sarcastic

Avatar

Awesome can't even begin to describe this movie! Some say it was a bit cliche, well they can kiss my ass. The story line was great and maybe I haven't been watching the right movies, but I would not call it cliche.

The graphics, Oh my! The graphics were wonderful and I didn't even see it in 3D!

You have, have, HAVE to go see this movie. Go see it twice! I guarantee you will be just as entertained as the first time.

Now for the plot...

This movie only further demonstrates why I absolute HATE the U.S. Military. Yup. I hate them. Not only are the men womanizers, rapists, and chauvinistic, they are just plain ASSHOLES who have this holier than now attitude. The same can be said for the government. I fully believe that if it came down to it, the government would of course destroy a race, from ANOTHER planet, for nothing more than money! ASSHOLES! I hate you! I love the movie, hate the world!

Oh, I wish that I could live on that planet and be blue! :P

It was so good, I am actually going to go see it again... in 3D... at the IMAX.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, An absolute must see, take the family