The Blind Side

This is another movie that made me cry. My gosh, I guess

This movie wasn't quite what I expected. Wait. It was exactly what I expected, but the turn of events and how things unfolded was not what I expected. I have to teach myself to not fall for the previews, or at least remind myself that the preview of a movie is not in chronological order.

As you all know this movie is a true story, and while some of the events may be exaggerated, I like to the think that the writers did a fair job in sticking with the life of Michael Oher. I am completely amazed that a woman of Leigh Ann Tuohy's status was brave enough, kind enough, and strong enough to take in a young man that she hardly knew and give him a life and opportunity that, at one time, he didn't stand a chance to have.

Quinton Aaron did a great job playing Michael Oher and I think in the future we are going to see more of him in other movies. I always liked Tim McGraw's singing ability and have recently discovered that I also enjoyed his acting ability. He did a great job in this movie playing a Republican who owed a chain of fast food stores.

I heard on the radio sometime before I saw this movie that the role of Leigh Ann Tuohy was Sandra Bullock's best performance yet, and I have to agree that she did a fabulous job. She definitely has an award winning performance with this movie and I am keeping my fingers crossed for her.

I cried throughout a few parts of the movie, I got angry at a lot of parts, and I laughed through many. The movie has a perfect blend of humor and tragedy needed to make a phenomenal film.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, a must see.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

This movie was really cool the first time I saw it in theatres. However, when I saw it again I didn't think it was as good. There is something about first seeing a movie in a theatre that makes it twice as good as it really is.

What I did like about this movie was the kick ass moves of Angelina Jolie, who played Laura Croft. I like seeing movies where the woman in the one doing the ass kicking or assassinating. It just makes me feel like women are powerful too!

There are some unrealistic characters in this movie, like a time portal? And really, where they THAT smart in those days to come up with this fancy tomb shit. I mean, I think they probably would have just put the treasure in the tomb, maybe they would bury it and be on their death way. Then again, we wouldn't have a movie if that were the case. So, while this movie in unrealistic, it is still fun to watch and cool to dream about.

Expert Says: 3.5 stars, you can see this in your spare time.

Knowing

This was another one of those "the World is ending" movies, which surprisingly has made up quite a few of the 2009 releases.

So, this movie was pretty cool, in the beginning. We have a dad and son and then a mom and daughter who "join" together in order to save themselves and their children from something, anything. They have no fucking clue what they are doing, but the closer they get to "the date" the more everything starts to make since.

The body of this movie was well scripted, well acted, and displayed wonderfully. They only thing that completely and utterly killed this movie for me, was the Adam & Eve ending with the Tree of Life. Umm! Really? Can't anyone just make a movie without any biblical reference?

Expert Says: 2 Stars, the ending sucked! the rest of the movie was good.

Fast & Furious

We finally got Vin Disel back after 2 other movies were made without him, and if you say that he was in the 3rd one you're wrong. Well, technically you're right, but it doesn't really count as being in a movie when the producers only flash your face for a second or two at the very end, now does it?

Mmm... Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. The original duo. The sexy car men. Fighting. Racing. Yumm.

I think that the writers have finally started to get there act back on track. I was a little worried after seeing Tokyo Drift (that movie blew balls). The plot was good, the action was great, and the men, as always, were fantastic. I was a little sad that they killed off one of the characters, okay I was a lot sad. Although, I guess without the key piece of the puzzle the plot would have been all effed up!

So, Walker and Diesel join the drug trafficking clan, where this group of gangsters recruits good drivers to transport drugs from Mexico into the states without being detected by border patrol. Let's be honest, a lot can go undetected by border patrol.

Well, it ends up being a big huge battle when Walker and Diesel decided to take matters into their own hands and screw the boss men over. Big mistake! You will just have to watch the rest yourself to find out what happens.

Expert Says: 3.5 stars, I'd watch it again. I'd watch it over and over again!

New Moon

If you haven't seen the first movie, you might check out my review for it here.

Wow. It is truly amazing what a larger budget can do to make a movie. Before the graphics and screening were a little poor. In the first movie, I complained about how the vampires skin looked in the sun light. This time, it was much more like I imagined it. Sparkling and glowing and unnoticeable. It was wonderful.

This movie is going to be my least favorite of all the movies, mostly because it is my least favorite of the books. However, I think they did a great job at meeting my needs, in the sense that they rushed through the growth of Bella and Jacobs relationship.

The book was much, much better than the movie. Putting that aside, this was a decent movie and an enjoyable one.

A lot of what happened in the book did not appear in the movie. For me, that is a good thing, because I wanted to see Bella spend as little time with Jacob as possible. My wish came true.

I was a little disappointed. The chemistry between Bella and Edward seemed to fade a little. I hope that in the 3rd movie, Eclipse which comes out June 30, 2010, they have more chemistry.

I was actually surprised at the humor in this movie. I forgot how funny some parts were in the books. Like when Edward thanks Jacob for looking after Bella while he was away. Classic! I also loved the crowds reaction to when Jacob would rip his shirt off! I mean the girls were not swooning over him, but there was some laughter and the obviousness in it. Jacob clearly wanted to have his shirt off for everything.

It's funny, because Lover decided that he did not like Bella, because she was toying with Jacob and Edward. *sigh* He just doesn't get it. We had some problems when he told me that he liked Jacob. UH Excuuuse Me? WE... do not, like Jacob Black. I explained it like this.

"Babe, see you are my Edward. What if some other man came and tried to steal me away. Would you like him?"

"No."

"Then, why would you like Jacob?"

Point proven. Whether he truly agreed with me or not, he wouldn't dare cross my affection for Edward... I mean him...

Oh, I don't know if you noticed but Dakota Fanning played Jane. Umm, Oh my goodness. She did such a great job! They couldn't have picked a better actress to play that role and WOW! I can't wait until the next two movies, where she has a bigger role! They better keep Dakota Fanning in the role.

Expert Says: 4 Stars, You should definitely go check this one out.

The Day The Earth Stood Still

This movie. Totally cool. Sort of. I mean, why wouldn't other life forms want to completely destroy the human race. We are they discover a destructive race and unwilling to change. At least that is what it appears to be from outsiders.

The Alien, Klatuu, soon discovers that we act under pressure, just like they do. If the human race KNEW that their planet or life would end we could and would change.

The movie is actually a remake of the 1951 movie. I find it funny how even back then it was known by someone or even rumored that the human race was destructive and would eventually destroy Earth before the Sun blew up. We still haven't changed. At least now, we are trying.

I have two problems with this movie. First, there is that whole Noah's Arch thing. The next movie with the theme, "the Earth/Word is going to end" can we have one where it ACTUALLY ends? No Arch's, no boats, no life saving preservation techniques. Just everything... then nothing! Second, the ending blew balls!

Experts Says: 2 Stars, take my word for it and don't waste your time.

Quarantine

This is one of the few movies that I couldn't watch the whole thing. That is really saying something! I can sit through over 4 hours of crap and still be entertained; but this movie? Nope. I couldn't do it.

First, from what I gathered, the whole movie takes place in a hotel/enclosed apartment complex type setting. Lame! I need varience, really, you are trying to scare people with this shit.

Secondly, the camera is stupid and it just goes to show how much I dislike the whole Blair Witch type filming. With the exception of District 9 (which wasn't all shaky camera) and Paranormal Activity (in which case there camera wasn't shaky it just wasn't a professional one).

Needless to say, if I couldn't finish watching it, it MOST definitly is not worth seeing.

The last part of this movie that I remember watching was when some lady "attacked" a police officer and bit off a piece of his neck. Was that right? It was so horrible, I can't even remember it.

Experts Says: 0 Stars, don't waste your time or money!

Jumper

This movie is cool! It proves my theories that people really can transport themelves from one place to a completly different place in a matte of a second. It would be cool right? If only! I like wishing that stuff that this is true. That way I can indeed search for my Clark Kent and marry him. I wish I could fly, and read people's minds, and go from one place to another without a car or a plane.

When I was a kid I used to wish that I was a witch, like Sabrina the Teenage Witch and that when I turned 13 everything would change and I would never have to clean my room again, just snap my fingers and it would be clean. Yea! That's how I know that at 6 I had NOTHING to worry about. *sigh*

So, while this movie is unrealistic, I don't want any jerks ruining it for the rest of it. It is a cool concept. Unfortunatly, some of the movie is kind of lame and the plot isn't THAT great. So, I do like this movie and think it's worth seeing, but I don't think it is a good movie.

You will probably catch me watching this one over and over again, because I love, LOVE, Rachel Bilson!

Expert Says: 3 Stars, worth seeing, may not be your thing

Taken

This movie is every Dad's worst nightmare. This movie is every young girl's worst nightmare. While this story is not true, there are many other young girls and families where the fate of the young women cannot be changed. This movie ranks in my top 10 movies.

If I had a Dad, or needed one, I would hope that he would be something very similar to what Neeson is.

First, the parents of this girl are STUPID. I pulled the same thing on my Mom when I was 15. Only I wanted to go on a weekend road trip and I wasn't leaving the country. But, we told her that one of the girl's cousins would be there too! 4 young women would be protected by one big, security guard man. I thought we would be with him too, I didn't know other wise until we reached our destination.

Second, these girls are STUPID! I NEVER would have gone on that weekend road trip had I known that the bouncer cousin WASN'T going to be there. In fact, I was PISSED when I found out he was never going to show up in the first place. But, it was too late, and instead of worrying my Mom and spoiling my friends fun, I stayed, kept my mouth shut and had fun. But I WOULD NEVER EVER travel to a different country without the protection of a man! A big man! One that could actually protect me!

Not to say that this family had it coming, but...

Also, these girls should have had some SERIOUS self defense classes, and street smart classes (I know they have these, it starts with Girl Scouts!), because they were STUPID!

As you can see, this movie got be VERY emotional. So there was some stuff and special effects thrown into this movie that remind you it isn't real. And I have mentioned before that I like to put myself in the place of the characters. The effects doesn't matter too much, because we are already too engrossed into Neeson finding his daughter is the drug, prostitution, and underground sex scandals. I am in shock, shock and some of this stuff! I understand having and open door policy, but an "open door" policy? Oh God no!

I hate seeing women taken advantage of, HATE!

Anyway, the plot of this movie is EXCELLENT. The Ass kicking is KICK ASS. And if you don't feel any sympathy for the characters you have no heart. So, go see it!

Expert Says: 5 Stars, A.Must.See.

The Uninvited

I saw this movie in theatres and forgot about it. That should tell you something about it.

This would probably be a decent movie if it wasn't for the dead people coming back thing. I mean, I get it, her Mom died and she is grieving, but it isn't necessary to show her creepy, burned up mother "chasing" her. If they would leave out those few scenes where someone that was dead came back to talk to her I would like this movie. It was really ruined just because of that.

I liked the girls in this movie and I think they did a great job acting and they both be a part of some better movies in the future.

The ending will definitely take you by surprise and it will only be further enhanced how good of a movie it COULD have been.

Expert Says: 2 Stars, good movie, but there are some bad scenes

Bride Wars

This movie is funny. It really just exemplifies the extremes that women go to during a "competition." I can't believe that the wedding venue double booked their wedding! Can you believe that! WOW! Umm, yea WOW! Because NO wedding venue in the entire world would double book a wedding. They're not stupid!

This movie was really funny though. it exemplified the extremes women go to during "competition." We have to be better and have the best. It also shows how nothing can get in the way of the strong bonds that we form. Through thick and thin, green hair and orange tans friends will still be friends.

I think the last 15 minutes of the movie was the funniest, AND the very end leaves you with an "Awwawww" moment.

Experts Says: 3 Stars, Chick Flick, Some humor

Friday The 13th

Friday the 13th movies just can't beat the Halloween movies. Didn't they have a Jason versus Michael movie? Who won? I bet it was Michael, he is like indestructible. Then again, Jason was at the bottom of a lake for YEARS and he still lived.

I already don't by into the whole story/creation of Jason, but I do enjoy slasher movies. I like that Jason kind of plays with his victims. He doesn't just sneak up on them and kill them. He sneaks up on them, stares at them, gives them a chance to run and desperately fight for his or her life. It's a little humorous.

This movie was not scary, I did not have nightmares, and I laughed during most of it. The experience was nice. I saw it at the Cine Capri theatre (the BIGGEST screen and surround sound), so everything appeared to be enhanced. I wouldn't want to watch this movie again. It is what I like to call a background movie. It's something that you wouldn't mind having in the background, because you aren't really paying attention to it.


Experts Says: 2 Stars, not worth seeing

2012

I think I am really starting to get into this blog. As I was watching the movie I kept thinking about what kind of review I was going to write about it. I was also trying to figure out which actors were who in real life. For example, I thought Charlie Frost (Harrelson) was Owen Wilson. Honest mistake, right? I mean they look SOOO much a like. I might have mistaken Danny Glover, who played the US President for Morgan Freeman. Or was it Denzel?

This movie was so sad. The ultimate destination of the movie was of course the end of the world, however, the movie promoted so many more morals than that.

Government conspiracy. Money. Greed. "Purchasing" life. Sacrifice. Helping Others. Common Good. Decency. Selfishness. Lies.

I cried. Not so much because the movie was sad, but because I was menstrual and seeing things differently. When I go to a movie I like to PUT MYSELF in the movie. I like to become the characters, or at least try, and try I must since I lack an imagination. For some reason I kept getting stuck on becoming the people who were drowning, falling into the ocean, being blown up, or just not surviving. The other part probably came from the fact, that I wouldn't be able to afford the seat on the "life boat" and I would be one of those average Joe's whose fate was predetermined. Also, I'm buying a house and I much rather would have spent all of the money on say a vacation!

I don't believe that the world is coming to end in 2012. I think that religions are constantly under more and more pressure for non-believers on when their supposed "day" is coming and this is just another excuse for ill-minded and ignorant people to fall victim to the religious trap. They are praying on these helpless people much like the corporate world does. Only this is free marketing. Another reason I don't like religion... Religion is a market, and a profitable one! The only difference between the Christian/Catholic/Methodist/etc. church and that company who sells a product to wipe my ass clean with is that Religious entities REFUSE to admit that they are apart of the marketplace. I digress...

The movie is worth seeing. There are several story lines that are tied together in the end. They do their best to keep you guessing; however, we all kind of know that the world ends, so we're not on the edge of our seat in suspense. Come to mention it I was on the edge of my seat. My bladder felt like it was going to explode about 45 minutes into the movie and only got worse as it continued forward, I refused to leave and miss something. GOOD STUFF!

The reason this movie didn't get 5 stars from me? They kind of incorporated religious bull shit, seriously? 2 of each kind of animal? We already read this story, Noah and his arc. We didn't believe it then, why would we believe it now? Also, I wanted them to be on giant rocket ships that took everyone to a different planet to start a new life (minus the placate walk to the tree like in Knowing), and the fact that I am pretty sure I read that book before TOO and I wish I could remember the name of it. It was good!

Experts Says: 4 Stars, made me cry, worth seeing

Jungle 2 Jungle

Disney. Genius! They have some of the best, most captivating, and often times humorous movies there are and despite the whole Hannah Montana/Miley Cirus mess, I still love them.

So, you have Bamboo (AHAHAHAHAHA) played by Tim Allen, who wants a divorce from ex-wife that he hasn't seen in 13 years. You know how life goes? They just didn't have the time to finalize everything and sign on the dotted line. This clearly comes to bite him in the ass when the new love of his life Charlie (Davidovich) and him want to seal the deal and get married. Let's not forget that Bamboo and Charlie are pretty well-off and not tied down by any children. Did I mention that the ex-wife lived in the Amazon? Or that Charlie should have been played by Elaine Hendrix, because she plays the best BITCH I have ever seen!?

Anyway, Bamboo finds out he has a 13 year old son, Mimi-Siku! OUCH! And that in order for this son to officially "become a man" he has to bring the chief back fire from the statue of liberty. What does this mean? This means that Mimi-Siku will be going back to NEW YORK CITY with Bamboo for a week. Can you can culture shock!

The week turns out to be hell, Bamboo lost his money, his sanity, and almost his fingers. However, he learned that Charlie was a Bitch and wanted to make things right with ex-wife and Mimi-Siku. Awweee... Exactly, this humorous movie will have you cracking up and the ridiculous notions all the way to the end.

Expert Says: 4 Stars, family movie, funny

Twilight

It is nearing closer and closer to the release date of Twilight's New Moon and I am SOOO excited. Although, there is one other movie that I am going to go see before New Moon, and that is only because Lover won't see New Moon with me, but will FOR SURE go see The Blind Side with me!

Anyway, back to Twilight. I thought that since the movie was coming out I might as well right a review about the first one, before I see the second one.

My first problem with this movie is not that it is based off of a book, because we all know I like those movies. It is that I actually read the book, before watching the movie. So, I had the events planned out in my head, I knew how I felt, how the love felt, I knew what I expected to see and that was nothing less than love and affection like one would read in those smutty romance novels I like to read. *sigh*

THAT, however, is not what I got. What I got was a Teen Flick. I know. It was a teen book, but do you know how many ADULTS were reading and falling in love with that series? They could have catered the movie to an adult audience and still kept it PG 13, okay.

Edward wasn't who I wanted, I expected Edward to be more the Emitt, but sexier. However, after seeing the movie they did a good job on the cast. The acting wasn't bad. It could have been better, but it wasn't bad, they did a good job.

The script was the awful part! The entire movie was rushed. Rushed. They skipped a lot of important scenes and they didn't quite show Edward's suffering for Bella or his love. They went from just meeting, to being ABSOLUTELY in love. I think that people who didn't read the book were lost and confused. The movie is only 122 minutes! I think they could have made it like another hour longer, really! It could have been the next Titanic, people still would have gone to see it and I bet people would have been MUCH happier.

My favorite part of the book was Chapter 13, when Edward "showed" Bella who is was on the mountain top. He was suppose to sparkle like thousands of diamonds. Well, he did. BUT, in the book it is suppose to be bright, like BRIGHT and noticeable. If I saw someone sparkling like Edward was in the movie, I would just think they were sweaty and needed a shower *sigh* So, my favorite part was ruined.

It did nothing to capture the book which was disappointing.

Oh, and I kind of dislike what this movie is becoming. Casting new actors/actresses to play a part. Like Victoria's part played by Rachelle Lafevre is going to be played by someone else in the Third movie. Umm... That TOTALLY takes away from the "reality" (shut up!) of it all...

Experts Says: 3 Stars, the book is better

Gone Baby Gone

I HATE shitty ending movies. This movie has a shitty ending. We all could have done without the last 10 minutes of the movie. Just cut it off 10 minutes before the movie ends... BOOM credits! See? Perfect movie, 5 star movie if they did that. Did they? No, otherwise I wouldn't be bitching about it.

Okay, so this movie is a great movie (other than the ending). It's about a little girl who is "kidnapped," because Momma is a stupid druggie (or drug carrier, same shit) and stole money from the dealer (fucking idiot!). So the druggie SUPPOSEDLY jacked her child (about 3 or 4 years old). The cops try to get her back. They almost succeed, until they are "pretty sure" she is dead. Well, that is just not good enough for the two OTHER cops (Affleck & Monaghan). They don't believe it and in order to find closure for themselves they try to solve the mystery (because there were A LOT of holes in story).

Well, they solve it. And it was beautiful! You never would have guessed it! Really? You NEVER would have guessed it. When I say the ending was beautiful it was beautiful the way it was. With everyone knowing what really happened. Well, then the stupid cop (Affleck), not the girl cop (Monaghan), couldn't just live with the happy fucking ending and had to "fix" shit. IDIOT!

I hate the ending! Love the movie, HATE the ending! And that is certainly why this movie didn't get 5 stars!!!


Expert Says: 4 Stars, great performances, shitty ending