Brothers

This movie was different. I love Natalie Portman; her performance in this movie takes me back to her role in Where The Heart Is minus the cheesy-ness.

I was not expecting this movie. We know what it is about and you are not fooled there, BUT the whole premise of the movie is a bit of a sham. There was no affair, the brother didn't take over anything, didn't violate anything, besides a harmless kiss that never happened again; which is just loneliness taking over.

I wanted to see something like what happened in Pearl Harbor! Do you remember that? Friend dies, leaving girlfriend behind and slimy best friend to take care of her while he is dead. Nope. Not in this movie.


Don't get me entirely wrong, the movie was intense and pretty factual in terms of part-traumatic stress syndrome from the war, but it was kind of dumb. I wanted more scandal and less crazy war hero (who, by the way, doesn't like being called a hero - I agree, he was not a hero).

Anyway, the movie should have ended about 5 minutes before it did. That would have made a much more dramatic ending and it would have gone along with the intensity of the movie. Plus, I am sick of these American-happy-endings.

I've heard talk of this movie being Oscar worthy and the acting being Grammy winning. I disagree. The movie was good, but certainly not award winning!

Expert Says: 3 Stars, Intense

Basic Instinct

So this was Sharon Stone's break through role? She definitely played one hell of a psycho-mind game player. And the whole leg trick. Yup, that would be nani!

The only thing about this movie is there really is no suspense. There are surprises sure, but we are not left hanging. We know from the beginning "who did it," we just don't know why. And we never find out why, it is left hanging. Did she do it for book sales? Did she do it for the story? The attention? You will never know! In fact, you wont even see the devised plan. You just see this twisted story of one woman who killed someone (most likely not her first) and the rest of the people who die in order for her to not be caught.

Oh and throw in a detective who tries to play her game, but ends up doing EXACTLY what she said he would do... fall for the wrong person. Yup, he fell alright. It was only chance that he wasn't offed as well.

Experts Says: 3 Stars, Not quite the psychological thriller I was looking for.

Four Brothers

The review of Four Brothers is going to kick us off for December. Have you seen it yet? You should!

Four Brothers has something for everyone. The men have fights, guns, gangs, and drugs. While the women have content. We see a struggling father trying to make things right. Mark Walberg (enough said). The deep love four adoptive brothers have for their adoptive mother. The search to find how exactly and why the mother was killed. I already said Mark Walberg, right? He is like 1 step down from Gerard Butler and 1 step up from Vin Diesel.

This movie didn't exactly make me cry, but I felt it warm my heart just a little. There is some humor and a lot of confusion. This is one of those movies where you see everything happening but nothing makes any damn sense until the end. And the the ENDING, not to be confused with the end gives you a satisfactorily amount of closer so that you don't get pissed off at the writers and start throwing things at your T.V. screen,

Experts Says: 5 Stars, good for both men and women.

The Blind Side

This is another movie that made me cry. My gosh, I guess

This movie wasn't quite what I expected. Wait. It was exactly what I expected, but the turn of events and how things unfolded was not what I expected. I have to teach myself to not fall for the previews, or at least remind myself that the preview of a movie is not in chronological order.

As you all know this movie is a true story, and while some of the events may be exaggerated, I like to the think that the writers did a fair job in sticking with the life of Michael Oher. I am completely amazed that a woman of Leigh Ann Tuohy's status was brave enough, kind enough, and strong enough to take in a young man that she hardly knew and give him a life and opportunity that, at one time, he didn't stand a chance to have.

Quinton Aaron did a great job playing Michael Oher and I think in the future we are going to see more of him in other movies. I always liked Tim McGraw's singing ability and have recently discovered that I also enjoyed his acting ability. He did a great job in this movie playing a Republican who owed a chain of fast food stores.

I heard on the radio sometime before I saw this movie that the role of Leigh Ann Tuohy was Sandra Bullock's best performance yet, and I have to agree that she did a fabulous job. She definitely has an award winning performance with this movie and I am keeping my fingers crossed for her.

I cried throughout a few parts of the movie, I got angry at a lot of parts, and I laughed through many. The movie has a perfect blend of humor and tragedy needed to make a phenomenal film.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, a must see.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

This movie was really cool the first time I saw it in theatres. However, when I saw it again I didn't think it was as good. There is something about first seeing a movie in a theatre that makes it twice as good as it really is.

What I did like about this movie was the kick ass moves of Angelina Jolie, who played Laura Croft. I like seeing movies where the woman in the one doing the ass kicking or assassinating. It just makes me feel like women are powerful too!

There are some unrealistic characters in this movie, like a time portal? And really, where they THAT smart in those days to come up with this fancy tomb shit. I mean, I think they probably would have just put the treasure in the tomb, maybe they would bury it and be on their death way. Then again, we wouldn't have a movie if that were the case. So, while this movie in unrealistic, it is still fun to watch and cool to dream about.

Expert Says: 3.5 stars, you can see this in your spare time.

Knowing

This was another one of those "the World is ending" movies, which surprisingly has made up quite a few of the 2009 releases.

So, this movie was pretty cool, in the beginning. We have a dad and son and then a mom and daughter who "join" together in order to save themselves and their children from something, anything. They have no fucking clue what they are doing, but the closer they get to "the date" the more everything starts to make since.

The body of this movie was well scripted, well acted, and displayed wonderfully. They only thing that completely and utterly killed this movie for me, was the Adam & Eve ending with the Tree of Life. Umm! Really? Can't anyone just make a movie without any biblical reference?

Expert Says: 2 Stars, the ending sucked! the rest of the movie was good.

Fast & Furious

We finally got Vin Disel back after 2 other movies were made without him, and if you say that he was in the 3rd one you're wrong. Well, technically you're right, but it doesn't really count as being in a movie when the producers only flash your face for a second or two at the very end, now does it?

Mmm... Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. The original duo. The sexy car men. Fighting. Racing. Yumm.

I think that the writers have finally started to get there act back on track. I was a little worried after seeing Tokyo Drift (that movie blew balls). The plot was good, the action was great, and the men, as always, were fantastic. I was a little sad that they killed off one of the characters, okay I was a lot sad. Although, I guess without the key piece of the puzzle the plot would have been all effed up!

So, Walker and Diesel join the drug trafficking clan, where this group of gangsters recruits good drivers to transport drugs from Mexico into the states without being detected by border patrol. Let's be honest, a lot can go undetected by border patrol.

Well, it ends up being a big huge battle when Walker and Diesel decided to take matters into their own hands and screw the boss men over. Big mistake! You will just have to watch the rest yourself to find out what happens.

Expert Says: 3.5 stars, I'd watch it again. I'd watch it over and over again!

New Moon

If you haven't seen the first movie, you might check out my review for it here.

Wow. It is truly amazing what a larger budget can do to make a movie. Before the graphics and screening were a little poor. In the first movie, I complained about how the vampires skin looked in the sun light. This time, it was much more like I imagined it. Sparkling and glowing and unnoticeable. It was wonderful.

This movie is going to be my least favorite of all the movies, mostly because it is my least favorite of the books. However, I think they did a great job at meeting my needs, in the sense that they rushed through the growth of Bella and Jacobs relationship.

The book was much, much better than the movie. Putting that aside, this was a decent movie and an enjoyable one.

A lot of what happened in the book did not appear in the movie. For me, that is a good thing, because I wanted to see Bella spend as little time with Jacob as possible. My wish came true.

I was a little disappointed. The chemistry between Bella and Edward seemed to fade a little. I hope that in the 3rd movie, Eclipse which comes out June 30, 2010, they have more chemistry.

I was actually surprised at the humor in this movie. I forgot how funny some parts were in the books. Like when Edward thanks Jacob for looking after Bella while he was away. Classic! I also loved the crowds reaction to when Jacob would rip his shirt off! I mean the girls were not swooning over him, but there was some laughter and the obviousness in it. Jacob clearly wanted to have his shirt off for everything.

It's funny, because Lover decided that he did not like Bella, because she was toying with Jacob and Edward. *sigh* He just doesn't get it. We had some problems when he told me that he liked Jacob. UH Excuuuse Me? WE... do not, like Jacob Black. I explained it like this.

"Babe, see you are my Edward. What if some other man came and tried to steal me away. Would you like him?"

"No."

"Then, why would you like Jacob?"

Point proven. Whether he truly agreed with me or not, he wouldn't dare cross my affection for Edward... I mean him...

Oh, I don't know if you noticed but Dakota Fanning played Jane. Umm, Oh my goodness. She did such a great job! They couldn't have picked a better actress to play that role and WOW! I can't wait until the next two movies, where she has a bigger role! They better keep Dakota Fanning in the role.

Expert Says: 4 Stars, You should definitely go check this one out.

The Day The Earth Stood Still

This movie. Totally cool. Sort of. I mean, why wouldn't other life forms want to completely destroy the human race. We are they discover a destructive race and unwilling to change. At least that is what it appears to be from outsiders.

The Alien, Klatuu, soon discovers that we act under pressure, just like they do. If the human race KNEW that their planet or life would end we could and would change.

The movie is actually a remake of the 1951 movie. I find it funny how even back then it was known by someone or even rumored that the human race was destructive and would eventually destroy Earth before the Sun blew up. We still haven't changed. At least now, we are trying.

I have two problems with this movie. First, there is that whole Noah's Arch thing. The next movie with the theme, "the Earth/Word is going to end" can we have one where it ACTUALLY ends? No Arch's, no boats, no life saving preservation techniques. Just everything... then nothing! Second, the ending blew balls!

Experts Says: 2 Stars, take my word for it and don't waste your time.

Quarantine

This is one of the few movies that I couldn't watch the whole thing. That is really saying something! I can sit through over 4 hours of crap and still be entertained; but this movie? Nope. I couldn't do it.

First, from what I gathered, the whole movie takes place in a hotel/enclosed apartment complex type setting. Lame! I need varience, really, you are trying to scare people with this shit.

Secondly, the camera is stupid and it just goes to show how much I dislike the whole Blair Witch type filming. With the exception of District 9 (which wasn't all shaky camera) and Paranormal Activity (in which case there camera wasn't shaky it just wasn't a professional one).

Needless to say, if I couldn't finish watching it, it MOST definitly is not worth seeing.

The last part of this movie that I remember watching was when some lady "attacked" a police officer and bit off a piece of his neck. Was that right? It was so horrible, I can't even remember it.

Experts Says: 0 Stars, don't waste your time or money!

Jumper

This movie is cool! It proves my theories that people really can transport themelves from one place to a completly different place in a matte of a second. It would be cool right? If only! I like wishing that stuff that this is true. That way I can indeed search for my Clark Kent and marry him. I wish I could fly, and read people's minds, and go from one place to another without a car or a plane.

When I was a kid I used to wish that I was a witch, like Sabrina the Teenage Witch and that when I turned 13 everything would change and I would never have to clean my room again, just snap my fingers and it would be clean. Yea! That's how I know that at 6 I had NOTHING to worry about. *sigh*

So, while this movie is unrealistic, I don't want any jerks ruining it for the rest of it. It is a cool concept. Unfortunatly, some of the movie is kind of lame and the plot isn't THAT great. So, I do like this movie and think it's worth seeing, but I don't think it is a good movie.

You will probably catch me watching this one over and over again, because I love, LOVE, Rachel Bilson!

Expert Says: 3 Stars, worth seeing, may not be your thing

Taken

This movie is every Dad's worst nightmare. This movie is every young girl's worst nightmare. While this story is not true, there are many other young girls and families where the fate of the young women cannot be changed. This movie ranks in my top 10 movies.

If I had a Dad, or needed one, I would hope that he would be something very similar to what Neeson is.

First, the parents of this girl are STUPID. I pulled the same thing on my Mom when I was 15. Only I wanted to go on a weekend road trip and I wasn't leaving the country. But, we told her that one of the girl's cousins would be there too! 4 young women would be protected by one big, security guard man. I thought we would be with him too, I didn't know other wise until we reached our destination.

Second, these girls are STUPID! I NEVER would have gone on that weekend road trip had I known that the bouncer cousin WASN'T going to be there. In fact, I was PISSED when I found out he was never going to show up in the first place. But, it was too late, and instead of worrying my Mom and spoiling my friends fun, I stayed, kept my mouth shut and had fun. But I WOULD NEVER EVER travel to a different country without the protection of a man! A big man! One that could actually protect me!

Not to say that this family had it coming, but...

Also, these girls should have had some SERIOUS self defense classes, and street smart classes (I know they have these, it starts with Girl Scouts!), because they were STUPID!

As you can see, this movie got be VERY emotional. So there was some stuff and special effects thrown into this movie that remind you it isn't real. And I have mentioned before that I like to put myself in the place of the characters. The effects doesn't matter too much, because we are already too engrossed into Neeson finding his daughter is the drug, prostitution, and underground sex scandals. I am in shock, shock and some of this stuff! I understand having and open door policy, but an "open door" policy? Oh God no!

I hate seeing women taken advantage of, HATE!

Anyway, the plot of this movie is EXCELLENT. The Ass kicking is KICK ASS. And if you don't feel any sympathy for the characters you have no heart. So, go see it!

Expert Says: 5 Stars, A.Must.See.

The Uninvited

I saw this movie in theatres and forgot about it. That should tell you something about it.

This would probably be a decent movie if it wasn't for the dead people coming back thing. I mean, I get it, her Mom died and she is grieving, but it isn't necessary to show her creepy, burned up mother "chasing" her. If they would leave out those few scenes where someone that was dead came back to talk to her I would like this movie. It was really ruined just because of that.

I liked the girls in this movie and I think they did a great job acting and they both be a part of some better movies in the future.

The ending will definitely take you by surprise and it will only be further enhanced how good of a movie it COULD have been.

Expert Says: 2 Stars, good movie, but there are some bad scenes

Bride Wars

This movie is funny. It really just exemplifies the extremes that women go to during a "competition." I can't believe that the wedding venue double booked their wedding! Can you believe that! WOW! Umm, yea WOW! Because NO wedding venue in the entire world would double book a wedding. They're not stupid!

This movie was really funny though. it exemplified the extremes women go to during "competition." We have to be better and have the best. It also shows how nothing can get in the way of the strong bonds that we form. Through thick and thin, green hair and orange tans friends will still be friends.

I think the last 15 minutes of the movie was the funniest, AND the very end leaves you with an "Awwawww" moment.

Experts Says: 3 Stars, Chick Flick, Some humor

Friday The 13th

Friday the 13th movies just can't beat the Halloween movies. Didn't they have a Jason versus Michael movie? Who won? I bet it was Michael, he is like indestructible. Then again, Jason was at the bottom of a lake for YEARS and he still lived.

I already don't by into the whole story/creation of Jason, but I do enjoy slasher movies. I like that Jason kind of plays with his victims. He doesn't just sneak up on them and kill them. He sneaks up on them, stares at them, gives them a chance to run and desperately fight for his or her life. It's a little humorous.

This movie was not scary, I did not have nightmares, and I laughed during most of it. The experience was nice. I saw it at the Cine Capri theatre (the BIGGEST screen and surround sound), so everything appeared to be enhanced. I wouldn't want to watch this movie again. It is what I like to call a background movie. It's something that you wouldn't mind having in the background, because you aren't really paying attention to it.


Experts Says: 2 Stars, not worth seeing

2012

I think I am really starting to get into this blog. As I was watching the movie I kept thinking about what kind of review I was going to write about it. I was also trying to figure out which actors were who in real life. For example, I thought Charlie Frost (Harrelson) was Owen Wilson. Honest mistake, right? I mean they look SOOO much a like. I might have mistaken Danny Glover, who played the US President for Morgan Freeman. Or was it Denzel?

This movie was so sad. The ultimate destination of the movie was of course the end of the world, however, the movie promoted so many more morals than that.

Government conspiracy. Money. Greed. "Purchasing" life. Sacrifice. Helping Others. Common Good. Decency. Selfishness. Lies.

I cried. Not so much because the movie was sad, but because I was menstrual and seeing things differently. When I go to a movie I like to PUT MYSELF in the movie. I like to become the characters, or at least try, and try I must since I lack an imagination. For some reason I kept getting stuck on becoming the people who were drowning, falling into the ocean, being blown up, or just not surviving. The other part probably came from the fact, that I wouldn't be able to afford the seat on the "life boat" and I would be one of those average Joe's whose fate was predetermined. Also, I'm buying a house and I much rather would have spent all of the money on say a vacation!

I don't believe that the world is coming to end in 2012. I think that religions are constantly under more and more pressure for non-believers on when their supposed "day" is coming and this is just another excuse for ill-minded and ignorant people to fall victim to the religious trap. They are praying on these helpless people much like the corporate world does. Only this is free marketing. Another reason I don't like religion... Religion is a market, and a profitable one! The only difference between the Christian/Catholic/Methodist/etc. church and that company who sells a product to wipe my ass clean with is that Religious entities REFUSE to admit that they are apart of the marketplace. I digress...

The movie is worth seeing. There are several story lines that are tied together in the end. They do their best to keep you guessing; however, we all kind of know that the world ends, so we're not on the edge of our seat in suspense. Come to mention it I was on the edge of my seat. My bladder felt like it was going to explode about 45 minutes into the movie and only got worse as it continued forward, I refused to leave and miss something. GOOD STUFF!

The reason this movie didn't get 5 stars from me? They kind of incorporated religious bull shit, seriously? 2 of each kind of animal? We already read this story, Noah and his arc. We didn't believe it then, why would we believe it now? Also, I wanted them to be on giant rocket ships that took everyone to a different planet to start a new life (minus the placate walk to the tree like in Knowing), and the fact that I am pretty sure I read that book before TOO and I wish I could remember the name of it. It was good!

Experts Says: 4 Stars, made me cry, worth seeing

Jungle 2 Jungle

Disney. Genius! They have some of the best, most captivating, and often times humorous movies there are and despite the whole Hannah Montana/Miley Cirus mess, I still love them.

So, you have Bamboo (AHAHAHAHAHA) played by Tim Allen, who wants a divorce from ex-wife that he hasn't seen in 13 years. You know how life goes? They just didn't have the time to finalize everything and sign on the dotted line. This clearly comes to bite him in the ass when the new love of his life Charlie (Davidovich) and him want to seal the deal and get married. Let's not forget that Bamboo and Charlie are pretty well-off and not tied down by any children. Did I mention that the ex-wife lived in the Amazon? Or that Charlie should have been played by Elaine Hendrix, because she plays the best BITCH I have ever seen!?

Anyway, Bamboo finds out he has a 13 year old son, Mimi-Siku! OUCH! And that in order for this son to officially "become a man" he has to bring the chief back fire from the statue of liberty. What does this mean? This means that Mimi-Siku will be going back to NEW YORK CITY with Bamboo for a week. Can you can culture shock!

The week turns out to be hell, Bamboo lost his money, his sanity, and almost his fingers. However, he learned that Charlie was a Bitch and wanted to make things right with ex-wife and Mimi-Siku. Awweee... Exactly, this humorous movie will have you cracking up and the ridiculous notions all the way to the end.

Expert Says: 4 Stars, family movie, funny

Twilight

It is nearing closer and closer to the release date of Twilight's New Moon and I am SOOO excited. Although, there is one other movie that I am going to go see before New Moon, and that is only because Lover won't see New Moon with me, but will FOR SURE go see The Blind Side with me!

Anyway, back to Twilight. I thought that since the movie was coming out I might as well right a review about the first one, before I see the second one.

My first problem with this movie is not that it is based off of a book, because we all know I like those movies. It is that I actually read the book, before watching the movie. So, I had the events planned out in my head, I knew how I felt, how the love felt, I knew what I expected to see and that was nothing less than love and affection like one would read in those smutty romance novels I like to read. *sigh*

THAT, however, is not what I got. What I got was a Teen Flick. I know. It was a teen book, but do you know how many ADULTS were reading and falling in love with that series? They could have catered the movie to an adult audience and still kept it PG 13, okay.

Edward wasn't who I wanted, I expected Edward to be more the Emitt, but sexier. However, after seeing the movie they did a good job on the cast. The acting wasn't bad. It could have been better, but it wasn't bad, they did a good job.

The script was the awful part! The entire movie was rushed. Rushed. They skipped a lot of important scenes and they didn't quite show Edward's suffering for Bella or his love. They went from just meeting, to being ABSOLUTELY in love. I think that people who didn't read the book were lost and confused. The movie is only 122 minutes! I think they could have made it like another hour longer, really! It could have been the next Titanic, people still would have gone to see it and I bet people would have been MUCH happier.

My favorite part of the book was Chapter 13, when Edward "showed" Bella who is was on the mountain top. He was suppose to sparkle like thousands of diamonds. Well, he did. BUT, in the book it is suppose to be bright, like BRIGHT and noticeable. If I saw someone sparkling like Edward was in the movie, I would just think they were sweaty and needed a shower *sigh* So, my favorite part was ruined.

It did nothing to capture the book which was disappointing.

Oh, and I kind of dislike what this movie is becoming. Casting new actors/actresses to play a part. Like Victoria's part played by Rachelle Lafevre is going to be played by someone else in the Third movie. Umm... That TOTALLY takes away from the "reality" (shut up!) of it all...

Experts Says: 3 Stars, the book is better

Gone Baby Gone

I HATE shitty ending movies. This movie has a shitty ending. We all could have done without the last 10 minutes of the movie. Just cut it off 10 minutes before the movie ends... BOOM credits! See? Perfect movie, 5 star movie if they did that. Did they? No, otherwise I wouldn't be bitching about it.

Okay, so this movie is a great movie (other than the ending). It's about a little girl who is "kidnapped," because Momma is a stupid druggie (or drug carrier, same shit) and stole money from the dealer (fucking idiot!). So the druggie SUPPOSEDLY jacked her child (about 3 or 4 years old). The cops try to get her back. They almost succeed, until they are "pretty sure" she is dead. Well, that is just not good enough for the two OTHER cops (Affleck & Monaghan). They don't believe it and in order to find closure for themselves they try to solve the mystery (because there were A LOT of holes in story).

Well, they solve it. And it was beautiful! You never would have guessed it! Really? You NEVER would have guessed it. When I say the ending was beautiful it was beautiful the way it was. With everyone knowing what really happened. Well, then the stupid cop (Affleck), not the girl cop (Monaghan), couldn't just live with the happy fucking ending and had to "fix" shit. IDIOT!

I hate the ending! Love the movie, HATE the ending! And that is certainly why this movie didn't get 5 stars!!!


Expert Says: 4 Stars, great performances, shitty ending

X-Men Orgins: Wolverine

I didn't even know I liked movies like this! Curtis actually dragged me to see this, I wasn't looking forward to it. I mean, comic books, really? This is a totally guy movie. It's like making me sit through Million Dollar Baby (which I would never do, because uh, it looks gay!).

But, it turns out I totally dig stuff like this!

Something that I HATE is watching shit out of order. Like, I haven't seen Nip/Tuck in YEARS because there was a period of 6 months that I didn't have television and couldn't watch it. I refuse to just pick it back up again, because it will spoil the surprise. So, you can imagine my joy when I found out that this was the ORGIN movie! That I didn't have to watch any of the other ones to know what was going on, because THIS movie explains and leads one up to the events of X-Men and X2. YIPPE!

So, first, Wolverine (Jackman) so HOT! Yumm! I mean, I wasn't drooling over him in the theatre, partly due to the company, but he played the part well!

UGH! I can't get over what happened to his wife though! It still bothers me that she was a traitor turned good. Like, fuck her and all her stupid metaphorical stories for the universe and the stars and shit. She should have been following her own advice. I totally love her power though! Controlling people! That's awesome! I wish I could so that just by touching someone.

Anyway, I should have known that I would like this movie, especially since I am completely in love with Clark Kent on Smallville. In my defense, I didn't even know it was the story of "Superman" until my Mom's boyfriend gave it away while I was watching Season 4 on T.V. one year. Yea, I told you. I don't do comic books.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, take the kids, or don't, but this is a must see!

Pandorum

Why, yes! I have decided that I can have a guest blogger. It took me a long time to finally get this guy to write this review and he did it all by himself (minimal editing on my part). Please do appreciate it. The guest blogger has never blogged before, and only reads mine to criticize my reviews, actually to find out if I gave a movie an accurate-in-his-mind rating. You can find him on facebook, my boyfriend Curtis Fields and his review.

This movie was very hyped up in the beginning when the trailers came out for it. People were comparing it to the infamous underground hit Event Horizon. Upon seeing the first trailer I too saw a distinct connect in space horror, and what appeared to be a good story with unique characters.

So naturally, when I went into the film, I suspected that it would have the same feel as Event Horizon; but, much to my disappointment this was not so.

The first ten minutes of the movie started out very well. It was fast paced, with the crew awakening from cryo-sleep, and discovering that they have been stasis for many years longer than they were supposed to be. From there on it pretty much went down hill.

After one of the crew members found a way from the bridge to the rest of the ship he discovers “space monsters” attacking other crew members. The whole setup with the dark, abandoned and creepiness of the ship was right on up there with Event Horizon, but as soon as the space monsters were introduced, I cringed. It was such a cheap card to play when you’re making a horror film.

Event Horizon was so awesome, because it left this out and only dealt with the paranoia and the psychological aspects. The rest of the film is pretty much the main characters running around avoiding these monsters. The Main Character manages to meet-up with some other crew members in which they hatch a plan to get to the ship reactor in hopes to power up the ship and launch the escape pods in order to abandon ship. They successfully do this.

The ending was quite surprising, and I don’t want to give it away. The movie also fell short on really focusing on Pandorum, which is what space travelers experience when fear, paranoia, and a state of delusion affect their minds as a result of being in deep space.

Pros- good characters and a good premise.

Cons - bad story and a horrible ideas of space monsters for a movie that was hyped up as a psychological space horror film. I was disappointed with that.

Expert Says: 2.5 Stars; I recommend waiting for this one on DVD.

Lakeview Terrace

In the mood for some Samuel L. Jackson? Don't turn to this movie.

Really? The whole movie is about a dirty cop (Jackson) who doesn't like the fact that his new beautiful black neighbor is dating a white boy who likes rap music. So, he tries to PUSH this new family out of the neighborhood. His attempts are poor. His antics are childish. And this story is poorly written. There are some entertaining parts, but you will only find yourself disappointed.

Expert Says: 1 Star, Not a movie to see.

Coach Carter

I'm not big into sports movies and this is because I am not big into sports. Yea, crazy, right? I like physically GOING to watch an event, but seeing it on T.V.? BORING! I do love Samuel L. Jackson.

This movie was a little different. This movie wasn't so much about the game of basketball, as it is about the teammates struggle in a deprived and uneducated area. Family, society, drugs, loosing ones self, loosing hope... Gaining strength, new friends, a team, success. This movie has almost everything and is beautifully told.

End the end the team gets more than just a championship. Come on, we all like to see people who have nothing, come to have everything they asked for.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, something the WHOLE family can enjoy.

G.I. Jane

I didn't get to watch this movie when it first came out. I'm certain it was at least 2 years later before I saw it. I saw it again recently and I was reminded of WHY I wanted to join the Navy at one point in my life.

I am one of those individuals, like Jordan (Moore), who HATES to be told that I cannot do something, and DO NOT even think about telling me I cannot do it for reasons that I cannot control. Like age, gender, sexual preference, etc...

Demi Moore tells the military to kiss her ass and with the help of a Senator gets to join the Navy SEALS, a career that even today females cannot do.

This movie shows the brutality towards women soldiers and the discrimination we face. Jordan had to go through many, many lengths in order to be accepted by her fellow comrades. She shaved her hair off, and told them to, "SUCK MY DICK." Cheers all around for that last one.

Eventually, politics and money took an even bigger toll and the Senator stopped back up Jordan, which forced her to leave the SEALS. It was a long and rigorous fight.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, male of female you will enjoy this movie.

Law Abiding Citizen

I enjoyed this movie entirely. Gerard Butler gave me goosebumps, not because of his good looks, but because of his passion. He is a killer and while I don't condone killing, and I do agree that some innocent people were killed by him in the movie, it was justified. I can't say that if someone killed my daughter and husband, that I wouldn't do the same.

I wondered throughout the whole thing, HOW the HELL he was getting away with these murders? No, not getting away with DOING the murders, but ACTUALLY commiting the murders when he is locked behind bars. You start to think that he is some hunt/tracking genius! Genius!

I wanted him to get away with the murders. I want everyone dead, so that he could walk free with his dignity and feeling of justice being served; because he is right, the system is flawed. One murder (THE MAIN MURDER, and while they didn't exactly mention/prove it, I know he was the rapist as well) got away with EVERYTHING! He served like 3 or 5 years. BULL SHIT!

That murder was genius!

Towards the end of the movie, I looked at my boyfriend and said, "this is my favorite movie now. It beats Rent." Well, I did speak a little too soon. This was an amazing movie and it is one of my favorites, BUT the ending is LAME, and certainly NOT the ending I wanted.

They reveal how he is doing it WAY too soon and WAY too fast. While it would have sucked, I would have been happy NOT knowing the HOW, rather than sit through the way the ending unfolded. Now, they should have waited until the last scene was over, and then do the flash backs of how it happened, THAT would have been okay. The ending wa indeed rushed and it made me sad. It was the last 15 minutes of the movie that took it away from my #1 movie. Rent, still holds that spot!

Expert Says: 5 stars, A must see, you can't miss this one.

The Other Boleyn Girl

This movie didn't get nearly as much hype as it should have, and was highly under promoted. I hadn't even heard of this movie until I saw it on DVD, but as soon as I pressed play I feel in love.

It is hard to not be captivated by the beauty of Anne (Portman) and Mary (Johansson) Boleyn in this movie. Set in past, and about the creation of Queen Elizabeth, I am sure this movie is not all factual. Even if the movie is only HALF true, it is a great story depicting the lengths a man is willing to go, in order to "bed" a lady.

Typical to families today, this movie depicts one sister who is sweat, kind, and caring; while the other sister is manipulative, callus, and deceiving. From there, you can pretty guess the lengths that are gone to in order to fight for the King.

This movie does a poor job of depicting time. They make it seem like a 3 years journey. When, in reality, this happened over a time of 5-8 years. It's still only a minor detail as this movie was not intended to be a biography or entirely factual.

You will wonder to the end what comes of the sisters and who wins in the end.

Expert Says: 5 Stars, one of my favorites!

Hancock

Will Smith can do so much. We've all watched him in many different roles and characters and he always does such a great job. You can't teach that. I like "Superhero" movies. While Hancock (Smith) isn't exactly your standard super hero, he is misguided, depressed, and lonely.

Until he meets a high end marketing guru Ray (Bateman) and his wife Mary (Theron). Things from his past unfolding and everything makes since. The reason this movie is so good is partly, because of it's Sci-Fi(ness) and alter reality(ness). People from a different planet that could possibly live forever and cannot be harmed! WHAT? Yes, wouldn't that be so cool.

This movie brings out our inner childhood and let's our imagination run ramped.

Expert Says: 4 Stars, there is something in this for everyone.

P.S. I Love You

So, because a new movie came out today, Law Abiding Citizen, with Gerard Butler, I thought I would do a tribute/pre-post/something in his honor. Okay, I just wanted to write a review about this movie and I am using this as an excuse.

So, tell me! This is the THIRD movie that Gerard Butler has been in this year, right? Gamer (which I wanted to see, but didn't), The Ugly Truth, and now Law Abiding Citizen (which I haven't seen yet, but will tonight so you can bet your ass there will be a review waiting for you Monday morning); and these aren't just fly by night movies. These movies did pretty well in the box office. Butler has been around for awhile, many years. But, he has only recently (after P.S. I Love You) gotten "famous" if you will.

In P.S. I Love You, Butler ISN'T EVEN IN IT! I take that back, I should give him more credit than that. He narrates (not like a story book) the whole thing and he is in scenes. From minute one, I feel in love with him and they hadn't even gotten into their apartment yet. He was a wholesome man, and realistic man, and he loved Holly (Swank) with all of his heart.

So, what is this movie about? It's not about their cute little relationship. Or Gerry (Butler) leaving Holly notes around the apartment. Nope, those Bastards tricked us Suckers into believing this movie was going to be a happy-go-lucky, typical romance film. That's not what you get. Gerry dies and leaves behind the love of his life Holly to deal with it. But, that is not all! He leaves behind notes. He leaves part of him behind and he, while dead, helps her on her journey of cooping with his death. YES! I know right! Amazing. Gerry knew he was going to die soon, but didn't tell Holly this.

He "forces" her to do things that doesn't want to, to let loose, quit being a prude, have fun, and more importantly move on. Holly's journey/tale/quest will take you on your very own emotional journey. Just don't ask your significant other if he/she would do the same for you, they won't.

This is one of those movies that I can watch over and over again and never tire of it. It is also one of those movies where the more I watch it, the more I will cry to it. *sigh* Life, huh?

Expert Says: 5 Stars, have a box of tissue next to you, because you will need it!

House Bunny

This is one of those Sunday morning movies. You know the ones? They don't have much of a plot, the acting isn't great, but the morals are good and there is a happy ending. First, every time I see Anna Faris, I think of her horrible, performance in Scary Movie. I think that movie ruined her, because I have a hard time taking her serious as an actress.

Anyway, this is definitely a movie for the younger, female crowd and no way will your man enjoy or want to see this movie. The fact that Faris is walking around half naked is irrelevant. Not even cleavage would distract him for how much he does NOT want to see this movie.

There is some humor and wittiness and some relatedness to many girls going through an "awkward" stage. I can watch this movie again, but I would prefer something else.

Expert Says: 2.5 stars, for little girls

The Shawshank Redemption

This movie is AMAZING. Let's face it, we all LOVE a good prison movie! So, if we knew that Andy Dufresne (Robbins) was guilty, we wouldn't be as happy (or at all happy) to see him escape, but he does it! I'm not telling you how either, you have to watch the movie to find out for yourself. But, what I will tell you is that it is BRILLIANT!

He gets back at the Warden, gets a shit load of money, and frees himself. This movie has it all, even the "cheerleaders" of the prison. That is just a brief part of it all.

He tells off the guards, gets close with the warden, writes to the state/feds to get a budget for more books in their library. OH! He even gets a couple packs a beer for some more inmates.

Red (Freeman) is the guy who knows how to get things and throughout this movie gives an excellent performance.

There are twists, turns, exceptions, and applause in this movie. It is one of my favorites!

Experts Says: 5 Stars, hands down!

Dead Man Walking

I never should have started watching this movie to begin with. I don't buy into the whole religion thing, and this movie was basically about the path of a Sister (Sarandon) helping a murder find God and Jesus in his heart so that he can go to heaven... Yadda, yadda, yadda... But it was a prison movie and I like prison movies and the title was really appealing.

This movie scores so points, because I learned something - lethal injection. Did you know that it's not just a really high dosage of a tranquilizer? AND it's not just 1 shot? it's 3 shots. The first, numbs the muscles. The movie says that this is so we can't see the twisting and contortion of the persons face while his insides are being demolished. The second shot, forces the lungs to collapse, or maybe it was to explode. Either way, it doesn't sound like Friday night fun. The third shot stops the heart. What I don't get is why even go through the first 2 shots? Why not just stop the heart and be done with it? *shrugs shoulders*

Okay this movie also gets a couple points, because Susan Saradon's acting in this movie is FANTASTIC. I mean, did she win an Oscar for this role? It was THAT good!

But, even those things can't take away from it's religious purpose. Plus, the guy was guilty and raped and 14 year old girl and then killed her. He deserved to die! They ALMOST have you believing that he was innocent though.

Expert Says: 3 Stars

Bedtime Stories

I find myself liking Fantasy movies more and more, I am not sure why, I usually hate fantasy. No, I hate Sci-Fi (and I've been liking those too)!

So, this is a cute movie. Fun for the family and especially the kids. What happens? Adam Sandler (playing a character whose name I can't remember) is forced to watch his niece and nephew for a week while his sister is out of town. In an effort to get them to sleep, he tells them a bed time story; only he isn't so good at it so the kids help him out a bit. The next, he realizes that the story comes true. So, he tries to tell a bedtime story where he gets the car, the girl, and the hotel (a management position at the hotel he works at, as a handy man).

It sounds really stupid, but it entertained me, had a little humor, a couple "moral of the stories," and it got me thinking about what kind of stories I would tell if I knew they would come true the next day. First of all, I would totally wish the winning lottery ticket into me hand.

Regardless, thinks go wrong and the character (Sandler) messes everything up. Obviously, he fixes things in the end and lives happily ever after.

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars; a little better than average; good family entertainment.

A Knight's Tale

As I mention in every single movie I watch that is based in the "olden days," I love these movies!

I have to admit, playing "We Will Rock You" by Queen kind of ruined the mood. That wasn't the only time some good 'ole Rock & Roll was played during this movie either. *sigh*

Did anyone ever watch the "updated" remake of Romeo and Juliet, the one with Leonardo DeCaprio? Horrible, right? They took a good fashioned movie and tried to modernize it. This is kind of what The Knight's Tale is. A good old fashioned story that is modernized.

The only keeping this movie from getting less that 3 stars is Heath Ledger, he is brilliant as a knight and just. Yum! Oh! I must admit that I did greatly enjoy listening to the Introduction of the Knight Orik (AKA Ledger). That character did a good job too!

The fact that there was a moral of the story helps the star count too. "Change your stars." Oh! The "follow your feet" one was really good too...

Let me help you understand a little better. William (Ledger) is the son of a peasant who is following around a knight and helping him train for tournaments, etc... Said knight kills himself, so William posses as a knight. Eventually, he is dubbed a 'Sir,' makes his blind peasant father proud, changes his stars (i.e. destiny), and follows his feet home.

Expert Says: 3 Stars; poor attempt at modernization

27 Dresses

Fun MOVIE! I'm just sad it took me so long to see this one. Now, maybe I liked this movie so much, because I love weddings and I am at that stage in my life.

The only thing that I didn't like about this movie was that it had the classic romance set up. Girl likes Boy1. Boy1 doesn't like Girl. Boy2 likes Girl. Girl doesn't like Boy2. Girl finds herself in love with Boy2; thus, a happy ending. UGH! I hate that shit! It is so predictable. Like, as soon as you see Boy2 strutting into the scene with is sly smile, you just know. Oh! Look at Girl one's future husband and from there you are just viewing the events leading up to inevitable.

The events, in this story, were entertaining, funny, and witty. I found myself like Boy2!

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars; I think I'm getting stricter on my judging.

Kate & Leopold

This movie was just okay. The headline and movie description are very deceiving. Time continuum I get. Slow romance, I don't get. Choosing to live in the 1870's I get, because I am the first to admit that I should have been born "back in the day."

My problem with this movie is that the romance is too slow. It took over half the movie before Kate (Ryan) and Leopold (Jackman) had an actual date. This movie was not a romance film. Romance films are lasting throughout the whole thing. During this one, you don't really see that Leopold is attracted/likes/loves Kate. All you see is an 1870 gentleman treating a lady the way she should be treated.

I feel gypped of a good romance film.

Expert Says: 2 stars, you're not missing anything by not seeing this one

The Haunting of Molly Hartley

This movie was such a waste of time. I totally sat there and tried to make it more than what it was. Okay, so I thought scary movie, right? Well, no! I jumped like twice in the very beginning and that was it.

Throughout the whole movie all you are wondering is why everyone keeps saying, "I know who you are." Okay, me too! I know who I am too!

THEN! You find out the reason this person is hearing stuff, has serious anger, and hears things is because she died when she was born. Yup, she died. Then, someone came and offered this girl's, Molly's, parents 18 years with her. Only 18 years, and then she would belong to them. So supposedly Molly's parents sold Molly's soul to the devil. So, her Mom tries to kill her, so that she doesn't end up doing Satan's work.

Like I said, waste of time.

I have to admit, the acting was not TERRIBLE, but the plot ruins this movie like no other. Plus, I am not very picky when it comes to acting skills either.

Expert Says: 0 Stars; waste of time (did I mention waste of time?); you're not missing out by not watching this film.

Juno

This movie is just all around funny. I love Juno's (Page) sarcasm throughout. There is a lot of symbolism in this movie that shows these kids are in high school, like a hamburger phone. Really? Who had a hamburger phone? Who WANTED a hamburger phone?

I think Juno's Dad (Simmons) and step-mom (Janney) handled the situation WAY too calmly. How would you react if your [future] 16 year old daughter told you she was pregnant? I'd go through the roof! And NO WAY would I let the father of the baby get away with it. Juno's parents don't even tell the GUYS parents that he got someone knocked up! They would be the first people I called. I guess in a way it shows the typical un-involvement on the high school daddy to the [young] woman's pregnancy.

And what the heck was going on with Juno and future adoption baby daddy (Bateman)? Juno totally liked him and he seemed to like her back? But, they never crossed that invisible line. I mean, come one? As much as we wanted Bateman to leave his over the top, neat and control freak, Suzzie homemaker wife and future adoption baby momma (Garner) we would have HATED him if he tried anything with a pregnant 16 year old. So, why even SHOW the attraction in the movie?

I think Juno had one realistic moment in the movie where she was complaining that real baby daddy, Paulie (Cera) was going to prom with someone else, while she was stuck being pregnant and not going to prom. She threw a little fit and she had every right! How dare him. Pregnancy is a 'we' not a 'she.' (I just made that up, how does it sound? Good?).

I don't even know how to categorize the music in this movie. It's sort of, reggae meets alternative meets old school punk meets John Mayer??? Whatever it is... It's good.

Anyway, the movie is still funny, the sarcasm and one-liners are hilarious and I can watch it over and over again. Great job.

OH! My favorite line from the movie is when Juno was taking like her 3rd pregnancy test at the local drug store and the clerk was like, "This is one doodle that can't be undid, Home Skillet."

Expert Says: 4.5 Stars; sarcastically funny

The Gift

Giovanni Ribisi is an amazing actor and his performance in this movie proves it. UGH! It was so frustrating, because the entire time, you are left thinking, "What the hell is wrong with this kid?" He could be in love with Blanchett, he's definitely bi-polar, maybe and little schizophrenic, and there are some definite anger issues.

This movie has stories all over the place. Ribisi has a hidden childhood past and is pissed at his father for some reason.

Holmes and Jeter are getting married, but can Holmes stay faithful long enough to make it to the wedding? Or is one of her lovers going to 86 her when she tries to end it? Most likely the latter will happen.

Blanchett, a single mom of 3 boys makes her money through... reading? No, she isn't a librarian, but a fortune teller. Can she what happened to Holmes while fighting off Reeves?

Reeves, a wife beater married to Swank with a temper. Also, he is a possible suspect to Holmes death. Did he do it or was he framed?

Anyway... Like I said, this movie has many angles, that leaves jumping around from thinking one person being a killer to the other person being a killer. If it wasn't for the whole reading peoples fortune/sci-fi aspect to the movie, I would have liked it a little more. It did, however, keep me up late to see the end.

Expert Says: 3 Stars; Sci-Fi; You'll never guess who did it

Perfect Stranger

I love movies with twists and this one is no different. This movie has a little bit of everything... Online dating, murder, childhood secrets, blackmail, obsessions, and more murder.

I was watching this movie, and I was tired; I really just wanted to go to bed, but I couldn't. I HAD to find out how this movie ended and if the killer was fried for it in the end. There is some creepy/stalkerish obsession between characters played by Ribisi and Berry. Anyone ever notice hot Ribisi's characters are always super creepy?! Oh! and that the writers always make it seem as though he is the "bad guy," but it turns out he was the good guy?

I couldn't picture any other actors or actresses playing the roles in this movie. Well put together.

Expert Says: 4 Stars; you'll never guess who did it.

10 Things I Hate About You

This movie has been playing on HBO a lot lately this month, (well at least it was in September). I finally got around to re-watching it.

The movie is about a single Dad out to destroy is teenager daughters' lives. Well, not entirely, but that is how is seems to Bianca (Oleynik), when her Dad enforces the new rule of her only being allowed to date when her older, socially challenged sister (Stiles) dates. This creates new challenges and controversies on who gets the girl in the end. Is partying, drinking, relationships, popularity, or even prom in Bianca's future?

Okay... So the movie is a little corny, a little realistic, and a lot unrealistic. But I love Heath Ledger, the music kicks ass, and everyone gets what they want in the end. Oh yea! And Bianca "beats the hell out of some guy." A chick beats up a guy? Perfect! It has good morals and the Dad is totally funny! He makes the girls walk around wearing the "baby belly." It will make any teenage girl realize her Dad isn't so strict after all.

Expert Says: 4 Stars; chick-flick; cute romance

Capitalism: A Love Story

This is the first Michael Moore film I have seen. Yes, I admit it, I was not part of the crowd that lined up to see Sicko. In fact, I don't remember that movie coming out. This could be attributed to the fact, that at the time, I could care less about universal healthcare.
I digress...

First, let me point out that I was completely shocked at the turn-out for this movie. It was a mixed crowd of all ages, sex, race, backgrounds, and walks of life. I was more shocked at the +40 years of age turn out. I usually attribute these +40 to be of the of close enough to the Baby Boomers and the vial, Republican, closed-minded, capitalism loving people they are.

Secondly, I was to put a halt to the hypocrisy of Moore versus Capitalism. You cannot criticize anyone who makes a movie about the lack of success of a capitalistic society. Yes, it is hypocrisy. It would be hypocrisy if I myself made a movie "dissing" capitalism, that does not mean a movie should not be made about it.

The irony here is that this movie is funded by Paramount Advantage, a HUGE company founded and ran by capitalists. However, Michael stated in an interview with Jay Leno that he "tricked" the company into funding it to begin with. He knew Paramount would not fund the movie he was working on, so he made them think it was a comedy about the subject. Once he had something to work off of, he showed them the documentary, knew they would like it, and viola!
Now. My opinion on the movie:

I don't like documentaries, but this is not like a documentary I have ever seen, or thought to see. It is filmed nicely, the camera quality is great, there are snippets in between takes, and it is humorous at times. Michael's affection for his home town of Flint, MI is very apparent throughout the entirety of this film.

The research and accuracy of events, statements, and encounters is hard to ignore and Michael does a great job of making his case. Hopefully, some of us 99% will heed his advice and do something about the 1%!

Paranormal Activity

Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap! Filmed in 2007, but more popular in 2009 this is a MUST SEE movie that will not be playing everywhere. You can see if it is playing in a theatre near you or vote for a theatre near you here. Yes, HERE!

I don't think I have been genuinely scared at a movie, since... Well, okay, since H2, but this was way different! Because after H2, I could go to sleep; after this movie, my adrenaline was pumping FAR too much to go to sleep and it took awhile for that to settle.

Don't be fooled into thinking that this movie is real! I never thought it was real, it just had me going.

Now, a lot of people have been comparing this movie to the Blair Witch Project. This can be explained do to the filming style. This is filmed much the same, with great exceptions. First, Paranormal Activity is mainly filmed from a tri pod as we are viewing the activity happening as the couple is asleep. Second, when the camera is moving, it is moving slowly and not flopping all over the place, like in The Blair Witch Project.

Another thing that makes this film so realistic and believable is that it is an Indie film, meaning no one in the movie is on the Hollywood A list, or the F list for that matter.

OH! The ending is also left open for a second movie; although building off of this would be a mistake and probbaly bomb and destroy the originality.

Expert Says: 5 Stars; if you have the chance, don't miss out on this movie!

Rent

This is my favorite, FAVORITE, movie of all time. I love musicals; and ever since I saw my first Broadway play (The Lion King) in New York City, I love those too. I started writing the review for this movie, and finished the review. Then, I went back and realized that it was 5 pages long complete with a character synopsis. THAT is how much I love this movie. So, I am going to try and make this short, sweet, to the point, and appealing as possible.

This is about 2 couples, Angel (Heredia) & Tom (Martin), and Mimi (Dawson) & Roger (Pascal), and a love triangle... no love square? pentagon? Triangle Joanne (Thoms) and Maureen (Menzel) and Mark (Rapp) and whoever else Maureen feels like Tangoing with, love triangle's journey in drugs, sex, relationship, death, life, recovery, and success. BUT, most importantly, it is about how they are going to pay the years rent, which their "Landlord" Benjamin (Diggs) let slide.

The songs play perfectly into the plot of the story, the actors and actresses really become the characters.

Depending upon where you are in your life journey will depend on how you take this movie. Some people just don't like musicals, some people don't like movies about drug users, and some people don't like homosexuals.

The movie features several characters who are very different, yet they don't judge each other, but try to help one another instead. They all have one thing in common, they are individuals, they are who they are, and they don't care what people or society thinks is "wrong" about he or she.

Expert Says: 5 Stars; liberating, open and tolerate.