G.I. Joe - Rise of Cobra

So, if this movie didn't have Mr. Yummy (Channing Tatum) in it, I probably never would have wanted to watch it. Another, "someone wants to rule the World again." I don't think anyones really wants to rule the World. If someone did, there would be nothing left for him or her (yes her) to do. You made it to the top of the ladder, you make everyone behave how you want them too. Now what? *claps hands* What the heck are you going to do?

No... See, people like to aspire to rule to the World. They want to try to get to the top; they don't actually think they will succeed.

I digress... Where was I again?

OH YEA! Mr. Yummy... Hard core, bad ass, hard, mmmm....

Now, don't be fooled this is not the male version of G.I. Jane. I know, I'm young. This movie is actually about G.I. Joes, like the action figures!!! Apparently, these were once movies and they are now being remade. Maybe they were comic books first. Who knows? Who cares? Mr. Yummy is involved so I HAD to see this.

Action, action, action. With some kick ass technology, hot brunettes, human controlling technology, what the heck wasn't in this movie? Oh yea, sex! But don't worry, I think they filmed the next 2 movies and after that there is 1 more. I think! Don't hold that against me.

So, these guys. They are elite. They are secret. A scandal is involved. The World is in danger and we need hot guys and girls to save us.

Of course, no movie is fully finished unless equipped with a love story and in the end he does get the girl. So, because this movie still could have been a movie (and a great one) without some once-a-blonde skank trying to take my man, it looses some points.

Expert Says: 4 Stars; Watch it; Take the kids; love it.

Orphan

Why does a Mom (Farmiga) who already has 2 kids (Bennett & Engineer) want to adopt a grown child from a different country? There might be some Angelina Jolie in the hearts of all Mom's after all.

Unfortunatly, this orphan has a deep past that she'll do anything to protect from surfacing, no matter what the cost.

Through her tricks and play Esther (Furhman) fools everyone except Kate into believing she is a harmless little girl. Kate must fight to protect her children and get Esther far from her house and husband. Only, no one believes her and only after she is forsed into the hospital does she get hard evidence as to Esther's true identity.

This movie keeps your attention. It's suspensful, mysterious, and dramatic. The ending is left open for a secquile, one I will want to see.

Expert Says: 4 Stars; don't take the kids; curl up on the couch with popcorn; you can't miss this one.

The Ugly Truth

I was reluctant to see this film. "The typical romance film," I said. Which it was; but with Gerard Butler, and every romance film should have Gerard Butler! He was the guy who, in 7 minutes of screen time, captivated all of our hearts in P.S. I Love You. Yea. That guy.

Don't get your hopes up, he is not as savvy in this movie. In fact, he is the opposite - a male, pig, who feels he is incapable of love AND teaches other men the "ways" to get laid in his T.V. special, "The Ugly Truth." Now, who could possibly love that guy?

Heigl's role as Abby ends up having to choose between a successful doctor who loves her for what Mike (Butler) made her, or for the sleeve ball who loves her for her. Who does she choose?

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars; typical romance; not a bad movie; see it on a lonely night

The Hangover

This comedy keeps you wondering, "What the ***k?" until the very end.

Okay plot set up: 1 groom, 2 friends, and the bride's brother go to Vegas for one night for the Bachelor Party. The next morning the groom is missing, they have a baby, and no one can remember a thing; thus, begins the quest to find the groom. Oh and by the way, YOU (the viewer) have no clue what happened either! That is what makes this movie awesome. The wondering, you HAVE to know what happened.

Like how did a Tiger get in hotel room?

Where's the baby's Mom?

Was there a wedding?

Keep watching and as these men discover how the previous night went, so do you. At the end of the movie you begin to wonder if you ever find out what happened, and then they show the camera roll. Sit back and enjoy as all your questions are answered.

Keep the remote in hand to rewind, you wont want to miss anything from laughing too hard.

There was one lame part of the movie. I would have completely left out the entire stint about the baby, Vegas wedding, and stripper - it was just dumb!

Expert Says: 4 Stars; Get it on NetFlicks

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

These movies have been fabulous since The Sorcerer's Stone! The way they follow the books is amazing. We have all heard the saying, "the book is better than the movie;" however, in the case of the Harry Potter series this is the exception and The Half Blood Prince is no different.

Lies and deceit, by golly it had been a very long time since I read the book. It took me about half of the movie to figure out what the heck Malfoy was up to and once I remembered, I realize I was thinking the exact WRONG thing while reading the book. Amazing, I know.

Everything in this movies leads up to 1 major event and 1 major phenomenon. You will have to watch in order to know which either is. I will however say that they are story wrenching and plot changing; possibly leading up to the destruction of Harry Potter or the defeat of Lord Voldemort.

Expert Says: 5 Stars; take the kids; read the books.

Coming to your theatre soon:
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I - November 2010
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II - July 2011

Drag Me To Hell

There were some disgustingly gross parts in this movie. Throughout some scenes I thought I was going to vomit in my own mouth.

Okay, let's start from the beginning.

You're cursing me, really? Because you have paid your mortgage for 6 months, that's 5 extensions we have already given you. You're not even telling me that if we extend it you will PAY us, you didn't even bring in any sort of PROOF showing that you could pay it.

So... Dumb movie to start. Not to mention the poor attempt to mix, what should have been, a suspenseful movie with humor - IF you want to call it that. The old woman, played by Lorna Raver, was just creepy (and not in a good way), from her voice, to her looks and shadow.

I expected to see more voodoo, superstitious type of stuff and that one scene with the goat, and a blade doesn't count, seriously???

So...I totally believe in 'A' for Effort, but in this case, the movie bombed! No, not "da bomb;" BOMBED - sucked, horrible, trash, waste of my money, need I continue?

Expert Says: 0 Stars (no effort here); don't waste your money; don't even wait for it to get to you on Net Flicks.

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

I have no idea where to start. This movie is about the high-jacking of a train. Why? Who would want to high jack a train; that, my friend, you will have to watch the movie to find out.

From the beginning it is obvious these high-jackers are not your standard criminals; they know something, something important. John Travolta as a villain, EXCELLENT! John Travolta as an asshole, WONDERFUL! John Travolta as a role model, no so much if you have kids that you want to aspire to more than a criminal.

Washington, who is a good guy that gets caught up on the wrong call has a internal battle between doing what's right and doing what his family wants. Will he risk his life to save a few people on a train, whom he has never met? Watch and see.

The back and forth wittiness and sarcasm between characters played by Travolta and Washinton keep you laughing. Sly remarks, inside jokes, and the "I don't give a f-k" attitude makes this a movie a must see.

Expert Says: 5 Stars; characters are awesome; plot is intriguing; a must see.

District 9

This movie was so different than anything I have ever seen. It's like Blair Witch Project meets Men in Black. The filming is set up like a documentary. UGH, I know right? Lousy documentary movies where you miss half of the action and have no clue what is going on the other half. Well, this movie is not quite like that. It's sort of a documentary with excellent film quality and a steady hand; there is commentary though, but it doesn't take away from the story.

So, as the previews show one might think this movie is all about the Aliens invading Earth and not leaving Africa. It's kind of like that but there are other background stories.

First, the Aliens really don't WANT to be there, they just can't get their ship working to go home. By the way, they are not even allowed to go to their ship (some sort of government regulation). Also, the main character, played by Sharlto Copley, has a dramatic story, with another Father and Son relationship going on.

So, you have guy evicting aliens, aliens wanting to go home, father and son, what else? WEAPONS!

Holy crap! Some of those weapons were INSANE. Alien technology is WAY above anything humans have come up with. Let me rephrase that, it is above any human technology that the GENERAL population knows about. I say that because like the government is going to tell anyone if we have some cool weaponary!

So, this movie also made me cry. HEY! It was the father and son relationship that got me, also a small part with someone who I think might have possibly been the mother of the son. But that's just me talking.

The one think that I would like to point out about this ENTIRE movie is that it appears to be EXACTLY how any government would react if this were to ever occur in "real life." Don't underestimate your government. They were the ones who told you Neil Armstrong landed on the moon in 1969 and Area 51 doesn't house aliens.

The ending of the movie is left open for a sequal; I will be going to see it.

Once you watch the movie and see what it is all about go check out 5 Things You Didn't Know About District 9, by Meredith Woerner.

Expert Says: 4 Stars; go see it; keep an open mind.

The Time Traveler's Wife

Okay, so by request from Twenty-Something The Time Traveler's Wife is my first movie review.

Holy cow, this was a book? I had no clue until the end of the movie, at which point I immediately deemed this a horrible movie, because there is no way it could be better than the book right? Well, maybe not; but having never read the actual book, this was an amazing movie.

Extra props for being a sci-fi movie and my actually liking it because the whole Star Wars thing, ummmm no thanks!

The movie starts off dramatic, it really grabs your attention and reals you in for the entire 107 minutes. Of those 107 minutes the last 30-45 minutes stole tears from my eyes and this time I know it wasn't the PMS because that stage had passed.

The chemistry between Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana is undeniable; if I didn't know better, I would say that there might be a little off set romance going on. Some of the movie is fairly predictable so it looses some points.

Expert Says: 4.5 Stars; go check this one out (take the family); bring tissue; enjoy.


Now, to the good stuff. I am warning you now; MAJOR spoilers lie ahead. If you do not want the ENTIRE movie ruined for you viewing pleasure stop reading now.




NO! Stop! The movie won't be ANY good if you read what's below! Go watch the movie, come back, AND THEN you can read the spoilers and my thoughts on them.



STOP!


Okay, so I always hated spoilers, because let's be honest, temptation is too great and no matter what everyone is going to read them; AND I am not going to spoil a movie for you. So..........



SIKE!