Rent

This is my favorite, FAVORITE, movie of all time. I love musicals; and ever since I saw my first Broadway play (The Lion King) in New York City, I love those too. I started writing the review for this movie, and finished the review. Then, I went back and realized that it was 5 pages long complete with a character synopsis. THAT is how much I love this movie. So, I am going to try and make this short, sweet, to the point, and appealing as possible.

This is about 2 couples, Angel (Heredia) & Tom (Martin), and Mimi (Dawson) & Roger (Pascal), and a love triangle... no love square? pentagon? Triangle Joanne (Thoms) and Maureen (Menzel) and Mark (Rapp) and whoever else Maureen feels like Tangoing with, love triangle's journey in drugs, sex, relationship, death, life, recovery, and success. BUT, most importantly, it is about how they are going to pay the years rent, which their "Landlord" Benjamin (Diggs) let slide.

The songs play perfectly into the plot of the story, the actors and actresses really become the characters.

Depending upon where you are in your life journey will depend on how you take this movie. Some people just don't like musicals, some people don't like movies about drug users, and some people don't like homosexuals.

The movie features several characters who are very different, yet they don't judge each other, but try to help one another instead. They all have one thing in common, they are individuals, they are who they are, and they don't care what people or society thinks is "wrong" about he or she.

Expert Says: 5 Stars; liberating, open and tolerate.

The Informant

I have to admit during this entire movie I was laughing AND saying to myself, "What the fuck?" Matt Damon does an excellent job in this movie. His acting and role is very similar to the part he played in The Talented Mr. Ripley; in the sense that you aren't sure what the intentions of the character are.

So, this movie is based off of a true story where a man, Mark Whitacre (Damon) works for ADM but ends up cooperating with the FBI's investigation into ADM's pricing fixing accusations. The accusations were brought to the FBI's attention by Whitacre, who is not so innocent himself. But what the heck is he doing wrong? His pile of lies leads us to believe that something fishy is definitely going on.

My problem with this movie is I HATE and I am annoyed by STUPID PEOPLE! I get that someone wants to correct the scandalous and malicious acts big corporations are inflicting on consumers; cheating is wrong, it's just plain wrong.

BUT...

Who in the hell is stupid enough to believe that by getting your bosses convicted of a federal offenses that you would still be working for the company???!!!??? Stupidity! WHY the hell would someone who wanted to keep their job do that? AND! Why the hell would you try to get someone convicted of a crime when you yourself are guilty of several other federal offenses!!!???!!! How dumb!!! Really?

Imagine... You are an illegal immigrant and get a job at this company. THEN, you go to the cops and you turn that company in for hiring illegal immigrants. Whitacre is the illegal immigrant, but he is growing pot in his back yard as well.

I kind of liked the ending, they found out that Whitacre laundered $9 million while working for the FBI, but in the end he says what's 11 million. HAHAHA! During the movie you think he is a moron. Then, you find out he laundered $9 million and you think, maybe he isn't so stupid after all. But, then he gets caught, so he stupidity status is renewed. AND THEN, he is stupid enough to forget how much money he said he laundered to begin with!?! Is it 9 million or 11 million? And if you thought it was 9, but it turned out to be 11 could it have been 15 million?

OH! And he didn't even live all that great of a life. He had a bunch of cars and a decent looking house, but nothing like what you would expect someone who laundered $9 million of tax free money in 6 or so years would be living?!? And he NEVER took vacations!?! What the heck?

Experts Says: 3 Stars; family friendly; annoying at times; wait for Net Flicks.

Pride and Prejudice

This movie confused the heck out of me. I had no idea what was going on half of the time. It wasn't that the movie was all over the place, there was just a lot going on. Maybe I was expecting something a little different because the title of the movie makes the movie appear to be more drama filled of meaningful. That should teach me to judge a book by it's cover.

OH! Let me first say that Keira Knightley look beautiful in this movie; as she does in all her films.

So she liked him, then thought he was a pig, but wanted to lead him on, and he didn't fall for it, but then he did.

The family is poor and no one wants the daughters but then he finds a husband for 2 of them.

The ONE thing that I don't get, is that he was solely responsible for the break-up of his best friend and the eldest daughter, but then he got them BACK together. What the heck!!???!!!

Oh and the other thing. Supposedly the family wasn't good enough for his friend to marry into BUT he was perfectly happy with Knightley. The family must not be THAT defective.

Okay... So, I digress...

Expert Says: 2.5 Stars; not a must see; you wouldn't be missing anything by not watch it.

Elizabeth

I love old movies. No, I take that back. I love movies that are set in old times - movies like Elizabeth. There is just something that gets to me, a man courting a woman and the two falling in love so fast; it's dreamy.

Anyway, this movie is clearly about Queen Elizabeth; but before you roll your eyes, this is not about how she ruled or anything like that. No, you will have to watch Elizabeth: The Golden Age to view that. This is about HOW Elizabeth, the horrible bastard child, came to be Queen. We all saw The Other Boleyn Girl right? While the two are completely unrelated, The Other Boleyn Girl give the background of how Elizabeth was born to Anne Boleyn and how she became a bastard child.

Then, the rest of the movie is about Queen Elizabeth securing her thrown by marrying, and even more so by securing her safety by marrying someone from Spain and having a baby. Elizabeth of course refuses and thus ignites anger and confusion from many.

Now, Elizabeth did have a love in this movie, who ended up betraying her! This, I believe, is the reason why Elizabeth chose to never marry a man and instead married England.

The ending was a bit dramatic for my taste, but I guess it had to be she is THE QUEEN!

I loved the politics and the attempts at courting the Queen. Originally, this movie has you all over the place wondering what the heck; but it all comes together in the end.

Expert Says: 4 Stars, kid appropriate, good history

The Descent

Okay? So, The Man saw this movie a few days ago and said he wanted me to see it, BAD! He liked the movie, and said it was scary; he likes to see me scared. It was 11:30 at night, I was ready for bed and could probably use a a good scare. So... Let's watch it!

It starts off in a pretty messed up way, Sara's (MacDonald) husband and daughter are killed by poles... being jabbed into their head from a head on collision. If that isn't a Final Destination way to die, I just don't know what else is.

But it gets better! One year later 6 fierce, risk-taking women (including Sara) gather together for an new adventure. No, they aren't gathering together to talk about their sex, men, or relationships (like every other movie involving a gathering of women) They are cave climbing (or cave descending?)! I'm a claustrophobic and some of the shots were making me breath heavy and feel like I was in a small space. CRAZY! Props for that.

Now, I was told this was scary. Where is the scary part? If I know someone has seen the movie before me, I ask questions, because I need to know and I need to know NOW. "Is there a killer in this movie? Do they die? Does someone live?" The man replies with "Yes, there is a killer."

Hmm... The movie continues on and the women are faced with some dangers and coincidental injuries. We see weird stuff, like hints of another presence. Someone is following them? Oh great! They're stuck in a cave with a killer. WAIT A MINUTE! "Is the killer human! It is a man?" I NEEDED to know this question because it is after midnight and I have to work in the morning so if this is some stupid sci-fi movie it's not worth the lethargy at work the next morning.

I was told the killer was man, at about the same point where some ugly, almost faceless creature appears in front of the infared camera one women was hold. I screamed and covered my face. Yea, I covered my face. THAT ladies and gentleman was the only scary part throughout the whole movie. I mean seriously? Evolved cave divers? I'm not buying those slimy, blind things for a minute! Major points lost for being a stupid sci-fi movie!

Plus, for the last hour of the movie you find yourself routing for Sara to kick some evolution ass and make it out of the cave with her skimming, cheating, back-stabbing friend Juno (Natalie Jackson Mendoza). Oh! Sara gets her revenge alright. She stabs Juno in the leg! The LEG? Really? And she just dies from that and those demon things attacking her? The bitch just went head-to-toe with four! I think she can take one with a sore leg. Anyway, the ending sucked! And you just have to watch to find out what happened to Sara.

Expert Says: 2 Stars, for the gullible mind; sci fi? boo!

I Can Do Bad All By Myself

I had never seen any of the actors/actresses in this film before AND I have never actually seen a Tyler Perry movie before - only pieces and parts of a few. I find that I like the ideas of his movies.

This movie was surprisingly very good. Despite being the only white person in the theatre I still found that I could laugh at the jokes without everyone looking at me and thinking, "White girl, please!" There were some definite FUNNY parts.

Mary J. Blige, WOW! How can you not want to see a movie where she sings in it? Her voice is amazing especially in her version of the song "I Can Do Bad All By Myself."

I think people in all different situations and environments can appreciate the morals of this story and relate to a character at some point.

Through the religious and church bull crap that was mixed in the movie I wanted to roll my eyes. Is there a fast forward button??? So, the movie looses some points because of its religious aspect.

One specific part where the married boyfriend, Randy (played by Brian J. White) came onto the 16 year-old girl, Jennifer (played by Hope Wilson). Really? Like I get how we had to get the creeper/ass jockey out of the house and out of April's life. BUT, they totally could have written that differently!

For example: Randy could have just been abusive to Byron. Byron was the one who didn't talk and was put in an oven when he was a baby by his crack head momma (who is dead in the movie). He is an easy target! So, Randy threatens to beat him around a little. Then, flash forward a few days where he actually tries in the kitchen - Sandino comes to the rescue and all of a sudden April was only beaten as a kid and not sexually abused.

So, because illusion of there being child molesting and rape in the movie didn't HAVE to be there but was placed anyway, the movie also loses a star for this.

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars; funny at times; sad at times; happy ending

Halloween 2

Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap!

Now, I never saw the original H2, so I had NO clue what to even expect. This movie certainly kept me on edge of my seat. Not because I was waiting for what happened next, but because I was dreading what happened next. This is a suspense movie. Therefore, one can definitely know that something is coming. Not in this movie, just as I thought I could relax (meaning nothing was going to happen), BOOM! You get hit with some kind of gore. I must have forgotten how big Michael Myers was in the first Halloween, because he just seemed GINORMOUS in this movie.

It was sad that some people died because I really liked them, and some of the people that Michael Myers killed I couldn't help but think that their life could have been spared.

My favorite line from the movie? "Now, have some fun." WTF?! Watch it and you will think the same thing. Like, I am officially convinced that the ENITIRE Myers family is f*ed up! The ending just proves it! Proves it! Imagining children, imagining mothers. WTF?

So, we all know that Michael Myers clearly isn't dead and he will come back in full force for Halloween 3. Yea, I didn't give away that he died to anyone because we all know how these sequels go.

BUT, I think I know what the 3rd movie is going to be about and that makes me that much MORE excited to see the 4th movie. There is going to be a 4th movie right???

After the movie, I was too afraid to go to sleep, I had to wait a few hours.

The thing I really don't get about this movie is.... Hmm... Why is it out already? It's not Halloween? Seriously? This movie should have been released on October 31st. Releasing this movie early is the same if Friday the 13th was released on the 10th.

Expert Says: 5 Stars; leave the kids at home; bring your scare face; pee before viewing.

Flight of the Phoenix

I must be in a big Dennis Quaid mood lately because I have been loving everything he is in.

While there weren't many twists in this movie it kept me on edge. Elliot (Ribisi) plays this annoying man who thinks that he is the only one who is indispensable. Really? Is he? I didn't like him from the beginning, with his "it's-a-long-story" reasoning for being where he was.

Back to the plot: A oil field is shut down; forcing Frank (Quaid) and A.J. (Gibson) to fly everyone home. The mission goes bad when the plane gets caught in a sand storm and is taken down; landing in the middle of the desert, with no radio, and no hope or survival.

Survivors begin constructing a new plane. Between cheering on the survivors and wondering what is going to happen next you find yourself becoming annoyed with Elliot's power trip and all you want is for someone to punch him!

In the end the, do the survivors build the plane and get the heck out of there with out any trouble from desert nomads? Watch and see.

Expert Says: 5 Stars; good for the family; suspenseful; entertaining.

The Parent Trap

In recent events this movie has left me crying. So, what better reason than to write a review about it. Okay...

Plot: Twins (Lohan), separated at birth - one went with the Dad, one with the Mom - know nothing about each other but find out at camp when they are 12 years old. Once they figure out they are twins they switch places in order to:
1. Get to know the other parent.
and
2. Get their parents back together.

Oh, did I mention that one parent lives in London (Richardson) while the other lives in Napa, CA (Quaid)?

So the fact that 1 person plays 2 people and there is actual interaction between the two, amazes me. I know it happens all the time, but I don't always KNOW that it is happening and the only reason I know in this movie is because there is only 1 Lindsey Lohan and after the movie came out I thought this duo would be the next Olsen Twins. When that didn't happen, I turned to Google.

This is a very cute movie for those of the young girl persuasion. I don't think little boys or males in general will ever enjoy this movie. Although, I can picture a Daughter and Daddy night with this movie, some popcorn, and chocolate covered almonds, because who doesn't love chocolate covered almonds.

This movie is also a Disney movie; and let's face it, Disney movies have their own category and rules for ratings.

Expert Says: 3.5 Stars; cute; watch with the girls; or guys can to score points with the girls. ;)